Thursday, May 31, 2007

Yay for middle-class normalcy.

I got annoyed with myself last night because I haven't taken full advantage of my time off from work. By that, I mean that I've adhered to virtually the same sleep schedule as when I'm working - only about an hour different. I should be staying up half the night and sleeping away half the morning!

So, I decided I'd try and stay up late last night watching a movie if I could find one - be decadent, right? I looked through my many movie channels (not the pay ones like HBO or Showtime - just the free ones that come with my satellite package. Who am I - Rockefeller?), and the only thing I could find that sounded reasonably interesting was "Sid and Nancy." I've never seen it, and it was going to be on from 12:00 to 2:00, so it sounded perfect.

For those of you who don't know, "Sid and Nancy" is about the relationship of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Sid Vicious was the lead singer of the Sex Pistols. Seeing as I was never a fan of punk music when that was "the thing," I don't really know any Sex Pistols music. And I know very little about Sid and Nancy except that they did drugs and I think they're both dead now. But I thought it could be interesting.

It wasn't so much interesting as it was disturbing. Not the relationship between them so much as their entire lifestyle. I tried to remember that they were young and rebellious and I was too at one time, but no matter how I tried, I just couldn't relate to these people and their world. And I found myself really grateful that I couldn't.

I've never wanted to stick a needle in my arm and puke violently, then do it again. I've never wanted to live in filth and sleep on the floor and smoke like a chimney and be unwashed. There were bar scenes where the band performed, and it was just violent and angry with beer flying everywhere, and I tried to think about my younger self, and I wondered if I ever wanted to be the drunk, angry mob at their shows, and I just never did. Not that I wasn't drunk my share of times, but I just never wanted to be angry, violent, dirty and ugly. I felt repulsed by everything about their lives. And I was just so grateful that it wasn't my life, and I never wanted it to be.

I gave up after an hour. I just couldn't watch it anymore. It made me feel bad. Just bad. So, I went to bed, finished a book I was reading and crashed. Tonight, I'll just go to bed my paltry hour later, start a book, and sleep in my clean bed in my suburban house, and wake up to my middle-class life, and you know what? That's just fine.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

How do they know?

Can someone explain to me how home fire alarms know what time it is? And why they prefer to share with you the news that their batteries are running low in the middle of the night - effectively scaring the bejesus out of you when you're in your deepest part of REM sleep?

I've owned my house for 4.5 years now, and I have yet for one of the damn things to bark out their little warning at say 6:00 p.m., or 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday. It's always in the middle of the friggin' night.

Last night, I was sleeping soundly - no nightmares of Paulas or painful encounters with exes, when suddenly at 3:30 a.m. *BLEAT* - like a freakin' blast horn right next to my ear, the smoke alarm goes off. Only for a second. Just once. So, I know there's no actual smoke. But of course, this realization takes several seconds, because at first, I have to peel myself off the ceiling, then I have to figure out what time it is and what just happened, and am I sure that wasn't my burglar alarm? Has the house been breached? So, then I turn on the light, and by the time my eyes adjust, I realize it wasn't the burglar alarm, so I go to the bathroom - you know...because I'm up.

While sitting on the toilet cursing the alarm is when I realized my hands were shaking and the adrenaline has not yet cleared my system. And I had that fluttery almost pained feeling in my chest from the living crap just being scared out of me. I finished up in the bathroom, decided there was no need to check the house - just go back to bed and pray the damn thing would shut up until this morning when I could drag a ladder out and change the battery. Not that changing one does you any good - you may as well change them all out in all the alarms throughout the house. Big fun.

It did bleat one more time - about 4:00. But I hadn't quite drifted back off yet, so it didn't bother me. I cussed it a little, but was able to drop off shortly after. In the interest of fairness I should admit that it's been worse in the past. Not only has the alarm gone off at an ungodly hour, but it chained across the house - somehow setting off all the other alarms in the house in bursts of three bleats each. That was super fun. I actually had to change them all out right then and there, not waiting until the morning. After I'd revived myself from my heartattack.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Dream a little dream.

Dreams suck. Not the kind where you "have a dream" - as in "I have a dream of someday fitting back into that skirt that lives in the back of my closet." I'm talking about the dreams that are little movies of your hopes and fears that play in your head when you're asleep and unable to hit the stop and eject buttons.

I hear that some people don't dream. More accurately, they probably just don't remember their dreams. I think if you don't dream, you go crazy or Freddie Krueger comes or something. We all dream.

But some people are blessed not to have vivid enough dreams that the dreams wake them in the night in a shaking sweat or they wake up in the morning with the emotions tied to a nightmare still coursing through their consciousness. I am not one of these blessed people.

I have very real dreams. They're in color with sound and real people, and I experience them as if they are really happening. That's fine if it's something good, but I have the unfortunate tendency of having nightmares. This often leads to me waking up in the night or in the morning feeling like I'd feel if the nightmare had been real.

I once dreamed that I had suddenly become aware that I'd killed a homeless man when I was 18 - I'd suppressed the memory and then suddenly, in my 30s, the truth had come out, and I remembered what I had done, and now I was faced not only with the psychological trauma of what I'd done, but I faced going to prison for it. I woke in an absolute terror, and it literally took me about 20 minutes to figure out if I HAD killed someone when I was 18 and had repressed it. It was awful.

More often than not, the dreams aren't about truly tragic things like that, though. They're more about things you're afraid of happening or they're some weird representation of stress or fear. You dream that you miss a flight you have the next day, or you realize you're still in college and haven't gone to a particular class for 2 months and now the final is today, or the ever-popular boyfriend is cheating or you see your ex-boyfriend somewhere and he's not only with some new woman but he's really mean to you. Those are fun.

If you are one of those people who doesn't remember their dreams, count yourself lucky. For us creative types, it's a double-edged sword. It's great to have the one where everyone likes you, but the ones where someone in your family is gravely injured or killed are so not worth the popularity ones. And Ex-Boyfriend, please don't be mean to me when I next talk to you. Your new girlfriend in my dream last night was named Paula. I've never liked that name.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

How much to take on?

I've got an interesting dilemma. When I quit my previous job, I let friends and fam know I was looking. I had planned on the job hunt taking a long time - several months at least, and when a couple of friends asked if I'd be interested in some part-time editing work while I looked, I said "Sure!"

I imagined myself waking up, stretching, puttering, then heading out to a coffee shop and working for a couple of hours on the part-time stuff and doing my job-hunt stuff. It was going to be a leisurely and pleasant life for a while before I jumped back into the full-time fray, rested and ready to go with the throttle pushed back up.

Well, as you know by now, it didn't happen that way. Within a week of my last day at my previous job, I had landed a new job. I will be throttling back up in approximately one week. Not much in the way of leisurely coffee shop days, I'm afraid. Lost in the frenzy of interviews and offers was the part-time editing thing.

You see, I filled out the paperwork to do that job but then had trouble getting the email to return the paperwork to go through. It still hasn't, though the employer is still interested in me getting it to her. So, here's the question. Do I take the unexplained computer problem as a sign that I should let that go - tell the lady I've gotten something full time and let her search for someone else just looking for part-time work? Or should I send it in, let them make me an offer, and see if the part-time stuff might be doable in addition to my new full-time job?

I've had a part-time job for forever, but I've been weaning myself off of it for the last couple of years. I wanted more social time with my friends and was tired of working so much. As my salary got to a decent level, the money wasn't as much of an issue. On the other hand, this editing thing doesn't have set hours, so as long as the workload was low, I could do it at my convenience and still make extra money.

And while money is less of an issue, it isn't a NON-issue. What with being single, the entire burden of preparing for my future and retirement rests on my small shoulders, so every bit can help. Social Security won't exist for my generation (big thanks to the Baby Boomers who haven't bothered to prepare for their own retirement and will be sucking the meat from my paychecks in the next 30 years). And the government picks away the retirement savings I do set aside (I read something this morning about how the government tax structure means that almost all of the employer match on my 401k will be stolen away by the government in taxes). So, perhaps, a little part-time work on my own schedule wouldn't be bad to keep on tap.

I don't know, though. If it's too much, I don't want to do it. As I said before, I don't want to spend all of my waking life working. I want a life. So, what do you think I should do?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

It doesn't do much for my hair, either.

We're starting to get a bit soggy now here in Central Texas. Actually, we're not starting to - we are. We're soggy. The rain can back off. It's cool.

We've been in a drought for several years, and we're thrilled to have had a rainy spring, no question. Our lakes are full for the first time in recent memory. My yard looks great. I haven't heard the status of the aquifers, but I have to assume they're looking better. It's been supah!

But now we're having flooding everytime it rains, and the rain is coming in big doses - like 6 and 8 inches at a time. Several people have died this week, and it's supposed to rain like crazy all weekend long, which means more people will likely die in flash floods. I think most people's Memorial Weekend will consist of sitting inside watching TV.

So, rain, thanks for stopping by, and can we get you a doggy bag for your trip elsewhere?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Just when I was enjoying it...

Well, Day Three of unemployment featured some yard work, some house work, and a job offer! Yes, that's right - my brand new unemployment already has an expiration date on it. And I must have gotten it on sale, because the expiration date is coming up soon. I start June 4. It's a great offer, and I'm glad to have it (I accepted it, for the record), but honestly...truth be told...I was kind of hoping this whole process might take a little longer. I was really kind of looking for a couple of months off.

It's entirely possible that after the first few weeks I would've been itching for some place to go and something to do. After you get your house clean and all those pent-up projects done, it's got to be pretty boring sitting around by yourself. But still. I've been stuck in an office 40 hours a week for the last 16 years. A couple of months of freedom from the grind would've been nice.

But like I said - I've got the kind of problem one shouldn't complain about. I'll be starting a job in a week and a half that's a step up from my old one, with a nice title and a bigger salary and good benefits. It's not government work, which means fewer holidays, but hey, you can't have everything. My last job was careening into Nazi Germany of the 1930s territory, so a few extra days off were not going to be worth staying.

So, I'll have to do my best to enjoy the next week and a half of freedom. It's all the time off I'll get for the next six months, since I can't take any vacation time for the first six months of my new job. Did I mention that I'm not complaining?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This is more like it.

Okay, Day #2 of unemployment is more like I had dreamed it would be. I slept until I woke up (which, surprisingly, was not much later than when I was working...what up with that?), puttered around the back yard filling the bird feeder and deciding what yard work to do this afternoon, then I showered and headed out to run errands. I'm now at a Seattle's Best, enjoying java and coffee cake and availing myself of their wi-fi. THIS is what I'm talkin' about, Willis.

The second interview went well yesterday as far as I can tell, so now it's a waiting game. If they make an offer, supah. If not, I'll get back on the job hunting trail. I've got that machine gassed up and ready to go if need be, so no worries. I'll keep you apprised if word comes. So for now, let's talk about something else!

How about...TV???!!! Last night was the season finale for Heroes. I've definitely been hooked, if annoyed at the many "breaks" the show kept taking during the season. I very much enjoy watching the storyline, as well as all the beautiful people. I think to be a Hero, you have to be exceptionally good-looking. Except for Ted. He wasn't so much. In fact, I'm pretty sure that actor plays one of the cavemen in those Geico commercials. And he doesn't need as much makeup as you might expect.

Anyway, the coolest thing about last night's show was that Richard Roundtree, aka Shaft, was on there! I'm not kidding! See what you non-Heroes watchers are missing? That man just personifies cool. He really does. And his scene was with my favorite cutie hero, Peter Petrelli. I've decided I will not believe that Peter blew up last night. I'm okay with it if Nathan did. He was always kind of slimy, but once I found out that the actor who plays Nathan is married to Dixie Chick Natalie Maines...well, I can hardly look at him now.

Sorry if you think the Dixie Chicks are the voice of reason and strength. We shall have to disagree on that. Let's instead focus on the concept that sometimes knowing too much about an actor's real life and real opinions, etc. can hinder your ability to watch them on screen. Whether or not it SHOULD be that way is irrelevant. While I may guess that Kevin Spacey is gay, I prefer not to *know* it for the simple reason that if I *know* it, I'll have more trouble buying him in a role where he's straight. I love Kevin Spacey, and I think he's an amazing actor, and he really brings his characters to life for me. I want to keep it that way. If I begin to know him too much, I'll see him instead of the characters he's playing when he's on screen.

I mean ask yourself - if you saw Sean Penn in a role where he's playing President Bush, could you buy it? Honestly? And could you really believe he's giving the character an honest representation? Despite everything know you know about Sean Penn and his beliefs and his personal activities in recent years? Or would you see Sean Penn playing Bush, and wondering where his personal biases are coming through? How about Charlton Heston if he were playing Jimmy Carter? Could you lose yourself in the suspended reality and really see Carter when you look at Heston? Penn and Heston are both fantastic, accomplished actors. But you know too much, don't you?

So, that's all I'm sayin'. Bring my Peter back, but it's okay if Nathan is space dust now. Oh, and Ang wants Hiro and Ando to stop being innocent and subtitled. So, Heroes writers, see what you can do for us next season. Thaaaaaanks.

Monday, May 21, 2007

A suit AND heels. Stop the madness.

My first day of unemployment, and I'm not laying around on the couch eating nachos for breakfast. What kind of world is this???

I actually had an interview this morning for a job I'm 99% I don't want, and I have a second interview at Noon for a job I think I do want. So, I'm in a suit.

At this morning's interview, the staff get big points for telling me the truth about what it would be like to work there. I actually liked the people I talked to, but I can tell you with no hesitation that I would not like being yelled at by the big boss once every 4-6 months just because he's in a bad mood. In fact, I'd prefer not be yelled at ever. It's one of Suzanne's "Rules of the Office." Don't yell at me. Don't forget to pay me. Don't put up cheesecake calendars.

Couple that tidbit of information with a warning I'd gotten from a friend of mine yesterday that my friend knew someone who had worked there and she was miserable, and we can pretty much cross the place off my list. The goal of changing jobs is to be happy.

So, of the three jobs I've interviewed for in the last week, two are already off the table. We'll see how the third one goes this afternoon. This was actually the first of the three I interviewed for, and I had a good feeling about it. If the second interview goes as well as the first, we could be in business. But it's okay if we're not. If I don't get a new job right away, I get to pretend I'm a woman of leisure for a while, and I'm very okay with that.

Assuming I won't spend every day in a suit. Women of leisure aren't supposed to have to wear suits.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Run, Forrest, Run!

Well, after a 3-week hiatus, I'm back! I didn't intentionally go AWOL, but after getting back from Chicago, I made a big decision. I decided to leave my job and look for new opportunities. It so happened, that the day before I turned in my notice, so did my boss! In fact, we're the 4th and 5th of 8 people in my section to leave since January. That should give you some idea what it's been like the last few months.

Anyway, as you can imagine, the last few weeks have been pretty crazy - a whirlwind of preparing my co-workers for the big transition of my departure as well as my boss's, and beginning a new and energized job search (I've been looking for several months, but a kicked in into high gear after turning in my notice at work). It might seem crazy to quit your job before you have something new lined up, but it was just time, and I had prepared for this possibility, so I was ready. And I have the utmost faith that God will lead me to the right "next step."

In fact, things are already moving quickly. I've had two interviews this week and have two more set up for next week, so you can imagine I haven't had much time to post! I'll keep you apprised of how the job hunt goes, and hopefully I'll have an announcement to make in the not-too-distant future. Honestly, I think it'll happen before I even really want it to! I was kind of looking forward to having a couple of months off before I jumped back into the daily office grind, but it looks like things are going to happen pretty quickly!

That's a good problem to have, and I won't complain, but how do you think it might go over if I tell a new employer that I'd like an August start date????

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Another day in paradise.

Here I am, still in Chi-town. No - still in a Chi-town suburb. Trapped in a corporate hotel.

It's a nice hotel. But when you can't really leave, that becomes what you want to do most. Today, as yesterday, it is rainy and grey. So, walking around in the open-air mall, the only attracting in walking distance, not really appealing. So, I asked if the hotel shuttle would take me down the road to another mall - one with a movie theater. "Sure!" the concierge tells me. "Just set it up with at the bell station outside."

Easier said than done. I went outside and got the lowdown about how the shuttle worked. I checked movie times and went back when I was ready to go, and gee, they were too busy with people checking out - come back in an hour. Um. Okay.

I did some stuff in my room, ate some lunch (which I hadn't really wanted to do here at the hotel...again), then tried again. Gosh, oh gee, they're still too busy. They can pick me up later, but can't really take the time to take me over there. I guess the guy figured I'd take a cab to the mall and then get the shuttle back. But see, now I'm mad at him because I've asked NOTHING of these people since I got here, and the ONE thing I want to do, that I've been assured they'll do, they won't do. So, I don't want to deal with the unhelpful bell captain anymore. He can bite himself.

So, it's back to my room to try and find something to read, watch, do. I'll work out later, but other than that, the day is pretty empty until an awards dinner at 6:30 tonight. Maybe I'll go sit at the bell station and just glare at the bell captain until his shift is over. Just sit there and glare. After all, thanks to him, I've got nothing better to do.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tipping: the eternal quandary.

A better day here in Chicagoland (Actually, I'm in Oakbrook Terrace - or maybe it's just Oak Brook - I'm not sure. It's a suburb.). I attended some neat workshops, got to work out in the gym, met some nice people, and this evening I went to the mall across the street to check out the local shopping.

Turns out, it's pretty much all the same stores we have in Austin, so no local flavor happening there. One neat thing, though. Just outside Nordstrom, in one of the planters, a pair of geese have decided to raise a family. The mall put out a sign telling people that there's "nesting in progress" and asking people not to approach the geese or interfere with them. Cool beans, man. I love nature, and I love animals, and I love when the big, bad people world makes an accommodation for a pair of God's creatures trying to bring a little one into the world. Papa Goose was actually standing guard on the sidewalk when I went in.

In fact, at first, I saw the sign and thought it said "meeting in progress," and as I read more, I couldn't figure out why I shouldn't approach and where the meeting was. Then I saw the goose (a big dude, I must say), jerked my eyes back to the sign, which I then read correctly, and searched (eyes only - I didn't approach since I'd been asked not to) and saw Mama Goose inside the planter. Healthy wishes go out to the proud parents.

I didn't buy anything at the mall, considering I could get all the same stuff at home, but I do have one question. I did buy dinner there - takeout from California Pizza Kitchen (they didn't have any "Chicago style" eateries - no sausage or Chicago pizza, etc.). I walked in, ordered at a walk-up window, then they handed my food to me in a bag and I brought it back to my hotel room. My question is this: are you supposed to tip when you do takeout?

I don't know about you, but tipping on any occasion other than when I'm sitting at a table in a restaurant trips me up on a regular basis. I know you're supposed to tip people who work in hair salons, but I don't know which ones and how much. I don't tip people making my sandwich in a sandwich shop. That's their job. I *do* know to tip bellboys and airport shuttle drivers $1 per bag that they handle for me, but how much do you tip taxis (except the one who screwed me over yesterday...he should be fined instead of tipped)? I know to tip the girl who does my bikini waxes, but I do that happily because I think it's important to keep her happy. She could do bodily injury.

But this brings me back to my question above. I didn't tip on this meal because I figured they didn't deliver it to me, and I didn't take a table and have a waitperson serving me, but was that right? If you pick it up yourself, do you still have to tip?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Aloha from the Windy City!

Yes, that's right, I'm in Chicago, friends! I got in this evening and will be here until Friday morning at a work conference. I'm actually pretty tired at the moment, but I haven't posted since Thursday, so I wanted to jot off a quick post.

I fished for this conference for about 6 weeks, but only found out on Friday that I was going, so it was a busy weekend - wrapping up my trip to Houston and then packing to leave for Chicago. I had a great time in Houston with my family and wasn't in any hurry to leave on Saturday, but I knew I'd need all day Sunday to prepare to be gone for the week.

I worked at the office this morning then flew out this afternoon. I didn't have any major problems, like a plane crash or anything, but I did have a few things that didn't quite go my way today. For one thing, my cab driver from the airport screwed me on my fare. I won't detail all the particulars, but my rudimentary math skills were partially to blame, which only made the situation worse, because I knew I should've caught it. Furthermore, I managed to make two food purchases that I won't get reimbursed for because my receipts don't itemize what I bought.

So, not such a great trip so far, but I hold out hope that tomorrow will be better. I'll try and hit the reset button on my karma when I wake up. The conference is in a suburb of Chicago, rather than in the city itself, so I'm not sure how much of the city, if any, I'll get to see, but I'll try to get a few fun things in. If nothing else, the hotel is very nice and has a hot tub, fitness room, etc., so I can enjoy a little spa-type activity while I'm here.

Speaking of relaxing, I think I'll hit the hay. It's time for this day to be over!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Just don't give him a gun.

This post will culminate in a rant, so I should start by saying what a great time I had chaperoning my nephew's field trip. I wouildn't want it to appear that I didn't enjoy that. Until approximately 2:11 p.m., I was having a great day. I suppose I'm still having a good day, but the idiocy of irritating people has downgraded it from great. Here's why.

My nephew's field trip ended at 1:00. He went back to school, and I had a couple of hours on my hands until my brother would be home from work, so I had a blissful couple of hours completely to myself, to do exactly as I pleased. Since I'm in Galveston, and I love being in Galveston, I decided to poke around here a bit until heading back to my brother's house.

I drove down to the beach and walked along one of the jetties, taking pictures (artistic stuff, like rocks...hey, an artist would say the pictures had "texture"), and enjoying the beautiful weather - 70s, sunshiney and with a coastal breeze. After that, I drove over to the library to check email and write a little on my laptop. It was so gorgeous outside, I decided to just park and sit outside the library rather than going in. The wifi connection is just as strong on the sidewalk.

So, I parked myself on a low wall just outisde. It's about a foot deep - plenty of room for one's butt and just the right height for my feet to be on the ground and my knees to make a table for my laptop. I'm typing away, unmolested, and all is well. Out comes one security guard - he speaks to another guy sitting across from me on a cement bench, then wanders off to smoke a cigarette. A few minutes later, here comes another one. Inexplicably, this one shouts over to me, "Ma'am! You can't sit on that retaining wall." Pause. No explanation. "You can sit over on one of these benches."

Now, I picked up my laptop and moved to the bench without a word, but the little scene begs one really important question. WHY? Why can I not sit on the retaining wall? It's sitting height, and it's a foot deep, pretty much exactly like the benches, so I won't fall off and injure myself, leading to liability for the library. It's made of cement, so I won't be knocking it over or damaging it. There are no signs that say I can't sit there. It's only separted from the benches by a sidewalk, so it's just as safe as the benches as far as traffic goes. So, what's the deal?

It's not that it matters so much whether I sit in one place or the other, but that's kind of my point. Rather than just pushing people around with no explanation, do me the courtesy of at least explaining why. Help me to understand. The other security guard clearly didn't care. So, what's the deal? I actually work in a crowd control capacity pretty frequently, and I can assure you that if you tell people WHY you're asking them to be here instead of there, they're usually more compliant and feel less hassled. I know I would. There *must* be a reason they care which piece of concrete I sit on.

But while I sat in the "correct" place, I heard him hassle a couple of other people about where they were sitting and whatnot, and honestly, what I mostly came away with was the feeling that some people shouldn't have uniforms and/or authority. They just shouldn't. By some standards you might say they were good at their jobs - they herd the cattle where they're supposed to be - but in the end, whoever hired them would be better served by someone who made people feel like he wasn't just pushing them around for the sake of it. Let people know that you're not trying to hassle them - there's a rule for a good reason, and you're just looking out for them, or the building, or whatever. They'll appreciate that you had enough human respect for them to explain...or at least some will. Some will call you a Nazi no matter what the reason is for asking them not to hang from the balcony by their shoelaces. But the rest of us - the reasonable ones - we'll appreciate not being treated like a wayward teenager with a bad attitude.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Ees beautimous.

Gorgeous day here in Austin-town. Yesterday was rainy and dreary - not that I minded since the rainy spring we're having is helping relieve the drought, but still, today is sunshiney and in the 70s and it's just plain, gorgeous. Puts me in a good mood.

Of course, another reason I may be in a good mood is that this is my last work day of the week. After work today, I'm driving to Houston so I can be a chaperone for my nephew's school field trip tomorrow. I'm excited! I love doing vicarious parenting stuff for my niece and nephew. Not having been blessed with a family of my own, I borrow my brother's whenever I can. Plus, when I've had enough, I can go home to my cat. ;)

The field trip is to Moody Gardens in Galveston. I love Galveston, and I've never been to Moody Gardens, so this will be fun for me.

I also get an excuse to have an Antone's poor boy for lunch. Antone's is a Houston delight that I miss very much, but it's not exactly low-cal. I sorta feel like I have to have an excuse for inhaling one. And since we have to bring our own picnic lunch tomorrow, and the Kroger's down the street from my brother's house sells Antone's poor boys, well, it seems like the polite thing to buy one rather than my sister-in-law having to make me a sandwich. See? I'm just being considerate.

Anyway, it promises to be a great day - time with the boy, a visit to Moody Gardens, an Antone's for lunch. What's not to look forward to? And then I get the rest of the weekend with my fam. If only I could leave now and not have to go back to the office for the rest of the afternoon, I would be in perfect spirits starting right now. Just a few more hours, though...head down and power through.

Monday, April 16, 2007

At the lib-ary

Quick post today - I'm on a library computer, and because I'm too lazy to go upstairs to where the "use me for hours" computers are, I'm using a 15-minute one in the lobby. And I've already used 5 minutes checking my email.

I'm not sure what I'm smelling here at the library. My brain has identified it as vomit, but I'm rejecting that possibility, because otherwise I couldn't sit here.

I don't mean to suggest that the library is foul. I am a big library user. I really am. I check out books and books on tape all the time - even DVDs sometimes. I'm a "regular." But I'm at the downtown branch, and that branch is a quasi-homeless shelter, so it's definitely a place where I keep an eye on my purse and try really hard to not have to use the restroom in. It's just for the best.

My ex-boyfriend works at a library frequently tutoring students, and he (honest to God) caught two teenagers having sex in the stacks once at the branch where he was working. I'm just sayin'.

I tend to find small-town libraries and suburban branches nicer. They're smaller, so fewer resources, but they seem to just be a little better kept up, and without the hygeine issues. I could tell you where most branches are here in Austin. It always amazes me when people don't use libraries - when they spend lots of money on books instead of checking them out at the library. I mean, your taxes pay for the library, why not use it? It's FREE! I don't get not using it. But I can see where a trip the downtown branch might make a person shy away. Who wants to use a free Internet connection next to a toothless, stinky man surfing porn?

Well, I'm about to be logged off, so I'd better publish this. Wish me luck that I haven't been sitting in anything gross.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

So cool to have lifelong friends. :)

Had dinner last night with my oldest friend in the world, Judy. It was so great to see her, and I kick myself for not doing it more often!

We live a little more than an hour away from each other, which is close enough that you really have no excuse, but far enough that you can't just pop over and see one another without planning it, so that means we hardly ever end up doing it!

We're both so crazy busy, and we're close to our families, which don't live in the towns where we do, which means we spend a lot of time driving around the state to see relatives, so we go along keeping in touch on email and blogs, then one day you realize you haven't seen each other in more than a year! Aaa!

So, we're definitely going to have a do a better job of finding free evenings like last night - that's all there is to it. It's too awesome to have a friend who has known you your whole life, knows your family, has a similar family (that you know), is the same age and can relate to some of the same things that you're going through at your particular life stage (the changing role of an adult child with aging parents, for instance), etc. to not see them a more regular basis.

Either one of us could end up moving off somewhere and then we'd be saying, "She was right down the road and I hardly ever saw her." (Just don't follow that with "Thank God" Judy!)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

When to let it go?

Does anyone else still use a daytimer - as in an actual hard-copy binder with paper in it where you write down what you have to do? I've used one for 10 years now, and I love it.

When other people began to switch over to PDAs and other hand-held computer-style versions, I couldn't get excited. I don't want to have to look at some tiny screen, where I have to push buttons to get from day to day or subject to subject. I want to look at the whole month ahead of me, where I can actually read what I've written into each date. And then I can just flip to the weekly section, where I'm looking at a week at a time, with detailed notes of what I need to do each day. Then I flip to the address book if I need a number, and flip back to the section where my budget is, because I'm almost OCD about my budget - I'm constantly updating it with every dollar I spend. It's my life.

I can't plan anything without it, because I have absolutely no ability to tell you what my obligations are for next week, much less next month (I can barely remember on my own what I have to do today), and I'm big on planning. I'm very organized. I'm not rigid about it, in that if I don't get something done, it can easily slide to the next day or the day after that, and most things are in pencil so I can erase them, move them, etc. I can be fluid about it. I just can't remember it. So, I need it written down. And I need it in a format that's easy for me to read and work with. Thus a daytimer, not some tiny little screen where I have to pick each day with a stylus if I want to see what's planned for that day. I don't have the patience for that.

In December, I finally had to retire my original daytimer. It had gotten ragged around the edges. My previous cat, Ava, had chewed it in several places. It had started to disintegrate from 10 years of constant use. It was time to let it go. So, I went in search of a new timer.

I decided I'd get a nice one, and I settled on a black leather "Concorde Day Runner." It had pockets up front, as I must have, and pockets at the back (an upgrade). It had the three rings I like and was the size I like (7.5 x 10 - any larger is too unwieldy, any smaller is not useful enough). After much time looking at every possible choice, I selected it and made my purchase. I was happy. It had just one problem. The rings are too small. I discovered this when I started trying to put all the stuff from the old planner into this one. It wouldn't all fit. Not good. I must have all my stuff!

I went ahead and decided to try and streamline. Maybe I *didn't* need all that stuff. Maybe this was a good time to do some space-clearing - to toss out obsolete and unused stuff - to consolidate. So, I did that. I massively pared down. I was going to start 2007 leaner and meaner!

Well, so far 2007 pretty much sucks. That's not really because of my planner, but let's just say the planner isn't working out much better than other parts of my life are working out. I miss some of the things I tossed out, my calendar pages are always tearing from the rings being too small, and it's much too late now for me to return the planner and get one with bigger rings - if I could even find exactly what I want.

So, my question is, do I go ahead and replace the planner now, a mere 4 months after I bought it, or use it for a while longer to get my money's worth and then replace it? I intend to find someone else to give it a home - it's in perfect condition. I'm not just going to throw it away. But even though I'll give it to someone else, it still feels like a waste. This wasn't some $10 purchase! On the other hand, how long are you obligated to use something expensive that doesn't really work for you before you can replace it without feeling like you wasted money?

I once paid $130 for Doc Martin's because my boyfriend at the time insisted I needed them to waitress. "You have to have good shoes!" I waitressed for a grand total 6 weeks (one of the worst 6-week periods of my life), and I could barely wear the shoes because they had a seam that cut a groove into the top of my foot. The seam didn't magically disappear after I quit waitressing, and I probably wore those shoes twice after that. And I held on to them for three years. Because I'd paid $130 for them. On the upside, I learned never to spend that kind of money on shoes again. I'm not saying you have to buy everything from Payless - cheap shoes can be uncomfortable and fall apart. I'm just saying keep it to two digits. Then if you end up hating them, you can part with them without kicking yourself too hard. Sunglasses, too - I destroy or lose expensive sunglasses, so it's all about $6 pairs from Target now.

But while I've learned the lesson about paying too much for shoes and sunglasses, the question remains: when do you cut your losses and run away from an expensive purchase?

Monday, April 09, 2007

So, can I put away my sweaters or what?

Hello, everyone! If you're in Central Texas, you're still freaking out because you're wearing a sweater and it's April. This really is bizarro-world for us. Rest easy, though. Tomorrow, the high is supposed to get up to 80. (shaking head)

If you're looking for something to do on this last day of cold weather, head to the theater and see "Blades of Glory" - the new Will Ferrell/Jon Heder movie. My love of Will Ferrell is well documented here on the blog, but I also like Jon Heder, and they've made a great team in Ferrell's latest sports comedy. It's really funny. I saw it Thursday with some friends, and we pretty much laughed non-stop. The whole thing is funny with some of Will's trademark lines, but Heder is also hilarious. When he's trapped in the bathroom...well, you've just go to see it. You'll cringe and laugh and have to look away and everytime you look back, it'll just be worse/better.

Oh, and I have a new reality show to watch: Top Designer on Bravo. Or is it Top Design? I watched like 4 hours straight of it on Sunday - you'd think I'd know. My mom is actually the one who hooked me. Bravo was doing a marathon of it leading up the season finale on Wednesday, and I'd never watched it, but my mom had seen a couple of episodes, so we start watching one, and she's telling me about the contestants, and before you knew it, we were watching the entire marathon. It had the usual elements I need to get hooked in - a person to root for and a person to hate. I'm now all about Matt winning and Carisa taking her gaudy, immature, rolling-eye ass on back home. Now, if I can just remember to watch on Wednesday night...

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Happy (almost) Easter!

Happy almost Easter everyone! Tomorrow is the big day, but this is the moment I've got to write this up, so I'm doing it now.

It's cold and rainy here today - a little return of winter. So, I'm not sure what today will involve, but I'm guessing some TV, some reading, some napping and some eating. I'm at my folks house for the occasion, so I'm not obligated to any housework, which I would undoubtedly be doing if I were at my house. Yay for being a guest!

Yesterday, unlike today, was beautiful - sun shining and temps in the 60s. So, we took a little day trip out to Johnson City. We enjoyed the wildflowers on the drive up then visited LBJ's boyhood home, spent a little time in the museum there about him (I'd like to go back and spend some more time there), drove out to the ranch and looked from afar (it was late in the day by then, so I don't think they were still doing tours).

We drove past a place that's a re-creation of a farm in Central Texas at the turn of the century. They have people there in period dress showing you how all the chores and such were accomplished "back in the day." I went to a similar place several years ago in Massachusetts called Sturbridge. I loved it. I'll have to go back and visit the one in Johnson City.

But not today. Today I'll stay warm and dry. In fact, I think I'll go get some coffee. And if I don't jump online again, have a wonderful Easter!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Ya can't win.

Have you ever started out liking someone, maybe even admiring them a bit, and then, over time, as you spent more time around them, you kind of...didn't anymore?

That's happened to me with a woman in my book club. I can blog about it because no one in my book club reads my blog. I only gave the address to one person in there, my closest friend in the group, and she informed me she doesn't have time to read blogs, so that was that. I don't think she's ever read an entry. Luckily, I like her enough not to take it personally. But it means I can now blog about people she knows with impunity. That's what you get, Busy Friend.

The person in question is a friend of Busy Friend. She's very smart - I could tell that right away. She's lived all over the world, and she seemed to be friendly and have a good sense of humor - or maybe it was just that she smiled a lot or laughed easily, which is not necessarily the same thing, I have learned. She has her own business, which I admire, since I often think I would like to do that, but never quite take the plunge. It's usually when people who actually have their own businesses wearily recount to me the 80-100 hours a week that they work and the fact that they can never take a vacation that I sour on the prospect. But I digress.

When I first met this woman, aside from her obvious intelligence and seemingly open nature, I noticed she had a very distracting physical manner. By that I mean, she has a sort of jerky way of moving, and speaking for that matter, as if she has a mild form of Parkinson's. Perhaps she does. I don't know, because it's not a question you can ask. "Do you have a debilitating disease? Cuz ya kinda seem like you do."

Anyway, maybe because of this weird physicality, I *wanted* to like her - wanted to see past it to her impressive qualities. I wanted to lift her up a little in my mind, maybe. I might have felt a little sorry for her. Why, I don't know, since she was married and successful and clearly didn't need me to be concerned about her physical ticks and her extra 50 pounds, but I'm just psychoanalyzing a little here.

Anyway, as time has gone by, I've found myself less impressed with her. She still has her own business. She's still smart. She's gotten divorced since I've known her and didn't turn into some lump of goo like I would have. But I've also seen a quality in her that sort of spoils all the impressive stuff for me. Intellectual arrogance.

I'm used to people who think they're intellectually superior to me because I watch lots of TV. I blow it off. I couldn't care less. I like TV, and at least I'm honest about it. Lots of other people do, too - they just don't admit it. And besides, I'm perfectly aware of what my IQ is, and it kicks ass. So there.

I also know that I don't like to argue. Some people call it "debate" but most of the time it's just arguing. And the few times I've actually gone ahead and "debated" someone in a social situation, the very people who claim to like debating insulted me or chastised me later for doing it. So, there's really no winning. If you do it, you're a crazy bitch and if you don't, you're a doormat or people think you're too stupid to win an argument, and they assume they've triumphed over you, when in fact, I could often blow their logic out of the water, but just don't feel like being called a bitch. So, there's that.

But what Friend of Busy Friend does is more subtle. She has this way of presenting her opinions and the books she likes as being inherently correct, so if you disagree, it's because you're a poor, misguided soul. "Oh, you didn't like that book? I guess you didn't get it." No, asshole, I got it. I just didn't like it. I actually found myself last night, giving my credentials before announcing that I don't like the "The Catcher in the Rye." Since when should I have to present my authority to say I don't like something? But that's what it's come to with this woman. The book we read this last time, 3 of the 4 of us chiming in on it said we didn't like it because some aspects of the character aggravated us, but FBF did like it, so she finally said, "I think if the author were watching this, she would say, 'Ladies! It's a study of the absurd!'" Oooooooh - so the over-the-top character she wrote, and the over-the-top reaction of the other character wasn't REAL????!!! In a NOVEL???!!!

Yes, Genius of All That Is Literary, we GOT that it was absurd. It just irritated us. The two are not mutually exclusive. And you needn't tell us what the author would have said, seeing that you aren't the author, and you don't know her, and you can't possibly know what her reaction would be. I hate to shock you with that revelation, but you're neither that intellectual superior nor clairvoyant. If anything, the author might have loved that we had such strong reactions, because it means she created characters that moved us. But I don't plan on assuming what would be in her mind and lecturing other people about it. And I don't appreciate being talked to like I'm an idiot and intellectually immature and my adolescent comprehension of a comedic novel exasperates your refined mental sensibility so that you must set me straight on how wrong my reaction and understanding was.

Let me express it another way: Cram it.

Yes, that feels good to say. Cram it - wherever you'd like. Sometimes, most times, the simple expression is the best one. It's neither passive-aggressive nor confusing. I may be just a common TV watcher who likes to laugh and doesn't know much about wine and can't remember that she doesn't like almond extract, but I won't be treated as intellectually inferior to anyone who hasn't discovered DNA or created the computer - certainly not by someone in my book club which is supposed to be friendly and fun. We don't have to like the same books, but we do have to treat each other with respect. And the next time you suggest that I didn't like something because I didn't understand it or that you liked it because you're just so much smarter, more worldly and more savvy, be prepared, because I'm going to call you on it. Got it FBF? I'm calling you out. And then you know what will happen? I'll end up being labeled the bitch. That'll be fair. YOU insult ME/US, and I'M the jerk. See how great debating is? (sigh)