Can someone explain to me how home fire alarms know what time it is? And why they prefer to share with you the news that their batteries are running low in the middle of the night - effectively scaring the bejesus out of you when you're in your deepest part of REM sleep?
I've owned my house for 4.5 years now, and I have yet for one of the damn things to bark out their little warning at say 6:00 p.m., or 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday. It's always in the middle of the friggin' night.
Last night, I was sleeping soundly - no nightmares of Paulas or painful encounters with exes, when suddenly at 3:30 a.m. *BLEAT* - like a freakin' blast horn right next to my ear, the smoke alarm goes off. Only for a second. Just once. So, I know there's no actual smoke. But of course, this realization takes several seconds, because at first, I have to peel myself off the ceiling, then I have to figure out what time it is and what just happened, and am I sure that wasn't my burglar alarm? Has the house been breached? So, then I turn on the light, and by the time my eyes adjust, I realize it wasn't the burglar alarm, so I go to the bathroom - you know...because I'm up.
While sitting on the toilet cursing the alarm is when I realized my hands were shaking and the adrenaline has not yet cleared my system. And I had that fluttery almost pained feeling in my chest from the living crap just being scared out of me. I finished up in the bathroom, decided there was no need to check the house - just go back to bed and pray the damn thing would shut up until this morning when I could drag a ladder out and change the battery. Not that changing one does you any good - you may as well change them all out in all the alarms throughout the house. Big fun.
It did bleat one more time - about 4:00. But I hadn't quite drifted back off yet, so it didn't bother me. I cussed it a little, but was able to drop off shortly after. In the interest of fairness I should admit that it's been worse in the past. Not only has the alarm gone off at an ungodly hour, but it chained across the house - somehow setting off all the other alarms in the house in bursts of three bleats each. That was super fun. I actually had to change them all out right then and there, not waiting until the morning. After I'd revived myself from my heartattack.
1 comment:
About 5 months after Tyler was born, we were almost asleep when I heard this "BEEP" across the monitor. I had NO CLUE what it was...we finally realized that BOTH boys' smoke detectors were beeping! Did we have 9 volts? Heck no! Scott went to Wal Mart (evil evil) at 11:45 to get batteries, and I manned the fort, making sure the incessant beeping didn't wake the boys (becuase it was EVERY FREAKIN' 10 MINUTES!).
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