Yay for middle-class normalcy.

I got annoyed with myself last night because I haven't taken full advantage of my time off from work. By that, I mean that I've adhered to virtually the same sleep schedule as when I'm working - only about an hour different. I should be staying up half the night and sleeping away half the morning!

So, I decided I'd try and stay up late last night watching a movie if I could find one - be decadent, right? I looked through my many movie channels (not the pay ones like HBO or Showtime - just the free ones that come with my satellite package. Who am I - Rockefeller?), and the only thing I could find that sounded reasonably interesting was "Sid and Nancy." I've never seen it, and it was going to be on from 12:00 to 2:00, so it sounded perfect.

For those of you who don't know, "Sid and Nancy" is about the relationship of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Sid Vicious was the lead singer of the Sex Pistols. Seeing as I was never a fan of punk music when that was "the thing," I don't really know any Sex Pistols music. And I know very little about Sid and Nancy except that they did drugs and I think they're both dead now. But I thought it could be interesting.

It wasn't so much interesting as it was disturbing. Not the relationship between them so much as their entire lifestyle. I tried to remember that they were young and rebellious and I was too at one time, but no matter how I tried, I just couldn't relate to these people and their world. And I found myself really grateful that I couldn't.

I've never wanted to stick a needle in my arm and puke violently, then do it again. I've never wanted to live in filth and sleep on the floor and smoke like a chimney and be unwashed. There were bar scenes where the band performed, and it was just violent and angry with beer flying everywhere, and I tried to think about my younger self, and I wondered if I ever wanted to be the drunk, angry mob at their shows, and I just never did. Not that I wasn't drunk my share of times, but I just never wanted to be angry, violent, dirty and ugly. I felt repulsed by everything about their lives. And I was just so grateful that it wasn't my life, and I never wanted it to be.

I gave up after an hour. I just couldn't watch it anymore. It made me feel bad. Just bad. So, I went to bed, finished a book I was reading and crashed. Tonight, I'll just go to bed my paltry hour later, start a book, and sleep in my clean bed in my suburban house, and wake up to my middle-class life, and you know what? That's just fine.