Got me thinking

Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer. Apparently, this is the one of the most deadly forms of cancer. I didn't know that until I read the stories about him yesterday. Depending on which news report you read, he's either not having a very optimistic reaction to treatment and has only weeks to live or he's responding well and the doctors are hopeful.

I've had an interesting reaction to the news. I never was all that into Patrick Swayze. I had nothing against him - I even like him for the fact that through all his fame and years in Hollywood, he's still with the woman he married before he was famous, and you never heard of any scandals or anything with him. He seems like a nice and decent guy. I like that. And I admire his dancing. But he never stirred anything in me on that chemical level, and I never thought he was that great of an actor. He was just a nice B-list actor. There are worse things to be.

But when I heard the news about his cancer and possible impending death, instead of just blithely reading it and moving onto the next story, as I usually do with the 25 celebrity stories you get every day, I found myself really thinking about and wondering about what he's going through right now.

What tipped him off that something was wrong? What did he feel and think when he got the diagnosis? What did they tell him about his chances and what they'd have to do regarding treatment? What conversations did he and his wife, Lisa, have then and now? How is she responding? Is he scared? Is she? Is he preparing for the worst while hoping for the best? Is he leaning on her? Is she there for him the way he needs her to be? What about her - does she have someone to help her with what she's going through? Is he reflecting on his life, and if so, what does he think and feel about it? How does he feel about the whole world now knowing - is he used to it? Is it a relief? Is it an intrusion? If his time is possibly limited, what would he really like to do with that time?

He's only 55. And he has the "advantage" of knowing that he might be approaching the end (as opposed to someone like John Ritter who just dropped dead one day). How is he processing and using this knowledge? How would I?

I don't know why his particular situation touched me. But it did. Maybe because he seems like this nice, normal guy who just happened to get famous. He could be you or me. And now he's dealing with something that doesn't care if he's famous. Just like you or me. And it makes me wonder. What if it were me?