When I bought my first house almost 4 years ago, I was primarily looking for the nicest home I could afford that wouldn't have me making a two-hour commute everyday. I wouldn't go near KB Homes after doing some research, since you're likely to end up with a cardboard hut that only looks like a nice home (I think the Bluth family builds them), and I didn't want a "fixer-upper." I don't have the skills for that, though if I ever get married and my husband knows his way around home improvement, I'd be on board with doing a little real estate flipping. But I digress.
What I ended up with is a home I've been very happy with, in a neighborhood that's questionable. My subdivision was new construction, and I was one of the early buyers, so it was a gamble - there was no way to know if the other people who would buy into the neighborhood would be good homeowners or bad ones. Because of the price of the homes, there was a good chance most of the people would be first-time homeowners like me. That's a risk, because that may mean they've never lived anyplace nice before, and they'll treat their nice, new home like it's government housing. So, an HOA seemed like a good thing to me. If someone wants to live like an animal, there's a way to boot them out, right? Good for everyone's property values, I thought.
For the most part, the other homeowners seem decent enough. Most people take care of their homes and don't cause a problem. But there have been some problems. There have been people who park in their yards. There are people who park industrial work vehicles (like dump trucks or 18-wheelers) on our streets. There has even been some occasional graffiti. These are all bad things. And they are things that the HOA has done nothing about. Hmmmm. I pay my quarterly fees. I read my manual before I moved in. You can't do those things. So, if the HOA isn't going to do anything, why am I paying fees, right?
Well, you can imagine my...surprise...when I got a letter from them on Friday telling me that *I* was in violation of the deed restrictions! ME!! I read very carefully before rage blotted out my vision to be absolutely sure what I was being accused of, and get this: They are bitching at me because my front lawn is dead. My lawn. We're in a drought. We've been under water restrictions for months. We had the hottest August on record (24 of 30 days above 100 degrees), and these a-holes who can't be bothered to make Dump Truck Guy keep his leaking, dirty vehicle off the street one house over from me are actually writing me up because my friggin' lawn is dead! Well, no shit it's dead! Unless I want to deplete the aquifer and thumb my nose at the water restrictions and water every day, it ain't gonna live!
I looked around when I left the house to run errands on Saturday, and almost every lawn in the neighborhood looks exactly like mine. Do you think they sent those friggin' letter to everyone? How much of a waste is that? They'll ignore the basketball goals in the street and the makeshift "patio cover" someone tacked onto the back of their house that you can clearly see from my front yard, but they're going to harrass everyone about the friggin' grass. They actually said that I have to "treat or replace" all the dead grass. So, I should spend a couple thousand dollars to have someone come and tear out the dead stuff and lay down new stuff (because I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own - it'd take me until next summer), just in time for everything to die back in a couple of months? In the words of Condoleeza Rice, "Bite me." (Okay, maybe Condi has never said that, but I'm sure she's wanted to.)
I'll pull up any weeds that have popped up from the rain we (finally) had this weekend. I'll even toss out some seed for some "winter" grass to see if that'll put a little green back into the mix. But that's pretty much going to be the extent of my effort in this. And that had better be the last damn letter I get from them. If they bother me again, I'm going to go OFF on them!
2 comments:
I think throwing down a bag of winter rye will be just fine. Also, do you have a soil aerator? You can get a manual one at HD or Lowe's - they are spikey gears on a stick that turn and punch holes into the ground...good for promoting strong grass growth.
I think I'd file 13 that letter,too. Or, draft them a response that you'll be happy to comply with their REQUEST just as soon as they address all the other nasty stuff going on in the 'hood - and then list everything. Do they have meetings? Go. And let them know!
Yes, I can relate to HOA issues. While my neighborhood is pretty decent, and our HOA is pretty strict, it pisses me off when i get a letter from them about edging my lawn or touching up the paint on my chimney, when Joe Blow down the street has had his car jacked up on cinderblocks in his driveway for weeks. Or another guy gets to keep a horrible full-size suit of armor in his front yard for days on end (this one is a good one, if I haven't told you the story already).
Puh-leeze.
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