I'm so glad we had this time together.

Been a little busy the last couple of days - what with having to replace my entire front lawn...or not. Anyway, Carol Burnett was great! The format of the show really was her taking questions from the audience and periodically showing clips from her show. It was great fun!



I think I've seen every episode of the Carol Burnett Show, so the clips were really funny. And she had some great stories to tell. Most of the questions from the audience were good but there were a few weird ones. It kind of had the feel of live TV - like anything could happen and there wasn't a censor ready to silence any odd ducks!

Carol Burnett seems to be a profoundly gracious person. I don't know that much about her - only bits and pieces. I think I'll read her biography. After being in her presence, she's someone I'd like to know better, even if it's just from a distance. I really like biographies, especially autobiographies. I like to read people's stories - how did they get where they are? What wisdom have the gained? How do they look at life? There's only been one I can think of offhand that I just abandoned. It was an autobiography by Sam Giancana's daughter. I usually am fascinated by anything mob-related, but this woman was about the whiniest human being I've ever heard. Talk about immersing yourself in victimhood. I'm sure it wasn't easy being a mobster's daughter. I'm sure he wasn't much of a dad and she had challenges the rest of us wouldn't have to deal with. But get off the cross! I read about a third of the way in, trying to get past her whining tone, but finally I had to just say, "You know what? I don't care. At some point, your life was your own to make something of, and you'd rather whine about 'poor me.' I got better things to do."

Katharine Hepburn, though - there was an interesting story. No victimhood there.

Stop changing the schedule.

I really wish the networks wouldn't change the schedules for recurring shows. I'm used to The Amazing Race being on Tuesdays, and while I managed to remember to catch most of the premiere episode on Sunday the 17th, I completely missed this week's episode. I just had it in my head that it was on Tuesday. When I started looking for the listing last night (I was going to tape it tonight...I have plans, which I'll get to in a sec), I was confused when it wasn't on the TV guide. I saw "Heroes" listed two nights in a row, so I thought maybe there was a misprint, but no. They're actually showing the premiere episode of "Heroes" twice, and TAR is on Sundays, which I've GOT to try and remember. Another reason to get TiVo - it remembers for you.

In any case, it looks like the cheerleaders have been ousted from TAR. What a pleasant event so early in the show. I can't recap since I didn't see the show and won't try to comment based on other people's recaps. I'll just try to be more on the ball this weekend.

My evening tonight should be a lot of fun. I'm going to see Carol Burnett's one-woman show! I'm going with two of my friends. It's called "Conversations with Carol Burnett" and the audience will be able to ask questions, but I don't know much more than that. It's Carol Burnett, though, so it's bound to be good. I'll give the low-down tomorrow!

Returning to a comment I made in passing above, did anyone watch the premiere for "Heroes" last night? I did, and I liked it. I think I'll stick with it. I wondered if it might be reminiscent of The 4400, which I love, but it was different. The 4400 I've been watching care of Netflix. I'm catching up on a lot of shows thanks to Netflix!

HOA - Horrible Organization of A-holes

When I bought my first house almost 4 years ago, I was primarily looking for the nicest home I could afford that wouldn't have me making a two-hour commute everyday. I wouldn't go near KB Homes after doing some research, since you're likely to end up with a cardboard hut that only looks like a nice home (I think the Bluth family builds them), and I didn't want a "fixer-upper." I don't have the skills for that, though if I ever get married and my husband knows his way around home improvement, I'd be on board with doing a little real estate flipping. But I digress.

What I ended up with is a home I've been very happy with, in a neighborhood that's questionable. My subdivision was new construction, and I was one of the early buyers, so it was a gamble - there was no way to know if the other people who would buy into the neighborhood would be good homeowners or bad ones. Because of the price of the homes, there was a good chance most of the people would be first-time homeowners like me. That's a risk, because that may mean they've never lived anyplace nice before, and they'll treat their nice, new home like it's government housing. So, an HOA seemed like a good thing to me. If someone wants to live like an animal, there's a way to boot them out, right? Good for everyone's property values, I thought.

For the most part, the other homeowners seem decent enough. Most people take care of their homes and don't cause a problem. But there have been some problems. There have been people who park in their yards. There are people who park industrial work vehicles (like dump trucks or 18-wheelers) on our streets. There has even been some occasional graffiti. These are all bad things. And they are things that the HOA has done nothing about. Hmmmm. I pay my quarterly fees. I read my manual before I moved in. You can't do those things. So, if the HOA isn't going to do anything, why am I paying fees, right?

Well, you can imagine my...surprise...when I got a letter from them on Friday telling me that *I* was in violation of the deed restrictions! ME!! I read very carefully before rage blotted out my vision to be absolutely sure what I was being accused of, and get this: They are bitching at me because my front lawn is dead. My lawn. We're in a drought. We've been under water restrictions for months. We had the hottest August on record (24 of 30 days above 100 degrees), and these a-holes who can't be bothered to make Dump Truck Guy keep his leaking, dirty vehicle off the street one house over from me are actually writing me up because my friggin' lawn is dead! Well, no shit it's dead! Unless I want to deplete the aquifer and thumb my nose at the water restrictions and water every day, it ain't gonna live!

I looked around when I left the house to run errands on Saturday, and almost every lawn in the neighborhood looks exactly like mine. Do you think they sent those friggin' letter to everyone? How much of a waste is that? They'll ignore the basketball goals in the street and the makeshift "patio cover" someone tacked onto the back of their house that you can clearly see from my front yard, but they're going to harrass everyone about the friggin' grass. They actually said that I have to "treat or replace" all the dead grass. So, I should spend a couple thousand dollars to have someone come and tear out the dead stuff and lay down new stuff (because I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own - it'd take me until next summer), just in time for everything to die back in a couple of months? In the words of Condoleeza Rice, "Bite me." (Okay, maybe Condi has never said that, but I'm sure she's wanted to.)

I'll pull up any weeds that have popped up from the rain we (finally) had this weekend. I'll even toss out some seed for some "winter" grass to see if that'll put a little green back into the mix. But that's pretty much going to be the extent of my effort in this. And that had better be the last damn letter I get from them. If they bother me again, I'm going to go OFF on them!

Who makes the rule?

Last week, I had my monthly appointment with my 50-something massage therapist, and she made an interesting remark I've thought far too much about in the last week. She noted that my hair has gotten longer, and I said yes, I'm wearing it long (about shoulder length) again after years of wearing it short. I was ready for a change. She then asks me how old I am, and when I replied 37, she said, "Yeah, that's not too old to wear it like that."

Not too old to wear it like that. Presumably, that means a certain age comes where society expects you to cut it off. You're supposed to stop all this silliness of trying to look attractive and give over to the matronly image of Mrs. Cunningham, Mrs. Cleaver and all the coiffed, sprayed, dyed blue hairs over at the old folks home. Who are you kidding? You're past 30. No one wants to run their fingers through your hair. Can you tell that comment bothered me?

I wonder what the magic age is? If it's 50, or God forbid 40, someone needs to tell Christie Brinkley. And Jane Seymour - she's completely outta control. I don't have fabulous locks like Christie and Jane. My hair is fine and straight and my ponytails are about the circumference of a spaghetti stick. But that's not really the point. My hair was fine and straight when I was 20, too. Should it be about whether you have shampoo-ad hair? If it's NICE enough, you can wear it long past 42?

Are you allowed to keep it long if you'll put it up, like Grandma Walton did? As it happens, I wear mine up alot, but that's because I like how it looks. I don't much like being told by an arbitrary society rule that I have to.

So, I've decided that society can lump it. Maybe I will cut my hair if I get tired of dealing with long hair again. But it won't be because I'm "too old" to wear it long. It's my hair and my appearance and this is a free country, and as long as I'm happy with it, that's all that matters. If my massage therapist thinks she has to wear hers short to please the world, that's her business. Me and Grandma Walton, we don't care what the world thinks.

Lawncare returns

I think the time has come to cut my lawn again. I've actually been spared this chore for several months thanks to the searing drought we've been enduring. It killed all my grass, and there's generally no need to mow stunted, brown hay. But we finally got some rain the last couple of weeks, and while the grass hasn't really recovered all that much, the weeds are doing very well.

I ignored the sudden weed growth last week, when I should have mowed. The weeds at my house do particularly well on the north side of my house, where it's mostly shady all day and grass has never really taken hold with much vigor. There's this sort of carpet of weedy plants that I don't even know what all they are. They seep over from the neighbor's yard, and I don't have the motivation to rid them and try to encourage grass. The only time I ever walk along that side of the yard is when I'm taking something to the trash can. I'm assuming that's when it happened. A chigger bite. I woke up the other day to find a very itchy couple of dots on my ankle - the distinctive mark of La Chigger. I didn't even know chiggers ever lived in my yard. This is the first time I've been bitten by one at this house. But apparently they do. So, now I have to mow down their home. It has to be done.

I should probably wear some kind of mask - like the ones professional painters wear when they're power spraying a whole room. I'll probably give myself asthma from all the dust that will be thrown up since so much of the yard is still barren wasteland. But I don't have a mask. And why drive all the way to Lowe's for a mask when you can just sneeze and cough?

Someone suggested not too long ago that I should just pay someone to do my lawn, but what am I? Retired? If I can't zip a lawnmower and a weedeater around my lawn every couple of weeks (or this year, every few months), do I really deserve to own a lawn? Shouldn't I just cash in my grass chips and buy a condo? Don't think I haven't thought of it. But I really like not sharing walls with anyone, and when it's not 100 degrees and the yard is actually green with things flowering and birds zipping around, I really like being out there. Hopefully, with the cooler weather finally inching it's way toward us, I'll get to enjoy more of that in the next couple of months. In the meantime, I've got to go mow down some weeds.

The Amazing Distracted Woman!

Well, last night Season 10 of The Amazing Race started, and I missed the first 40 minutes! I'm an idiot. I started watching a movie at 6, and it went until 8, and I forgot to set my satellite dish to automatically change the channel at the right time for TAR. Then it took me 10 minutes to remember what I was supposed to be watching! So, by the time I tuned in, the first team was already being ousted. I can't believe I did that.

I'll tackle the game and the teams, though, from the halfway point. I never had a chance to develop any sense of the guys who got ousted first, so no opinion there, but it's definitely new this season to eliminate a team before the pitstop. That ought to have everyone stepping up their game since you'll never know when the axe is going to fall.

Other teams:

David and Mary. I like this couple. And I find it offensive that they refer to them as "coalminer and wife" as opposed to just "married" like Vipul and Arti. What - a coalminer is such a freak they have to point that out? That chaps me.

Duke and Lauren. I like them well enough so far. Can't tell too much, but it was sweet that she cried out of pride for her dad when he scaled the Great Wall. I think they'll go far.

Dustin and Kandice. Beauty queens. I just can't bring myself to comment in any way that doesn't make me sound like some kind of jealous middle-aged hag, so I'll say nothing. Except this: Who names a girl Dustin?

Erwin and Godwin. I like these guys so far. And Godwin (that's the one with the short hair, right?) - if you need to take your shirt off at any point, you just go on. These guys will be in for a while.

Kellie and Jamie. The cheerleaders. Kill them now.

Lyn and Karlyn. Seem nice enough, but I don't think they'll last too long. The physical stuff is going to knock them out.

Peter and Sarah. Sarah's prosthetic leg should add an element of challenge to their race, though they're obviously a strong team. She reminded me a little of the dwarf (I apologize - I can't remember her name) that was on one of the previous seasons, though. It looked like Sarah used the leg to her advantage for sympathy at one point (to get a cab I think?), just like the dwarf did with her size, but that MAY have just been because the leg was leaking hydraulic fluid and she needed to conserve on wear and tear. Oh, and while Peter was very supportive of Sarah, which was great, he kind of sounded gay. I can't be the only one to have thought that, can I? I'd be leery of those "unresolved romantic feelings," Sarah. I ain't sayin, I'm just sayin.

Rob and Kimberly. No opinion yet.

Tom and Terry. Nathan Lane wishes he was as gay as these guys. That's about all I can tell so far! So very, flaming gay. I may end up liking them when I can tell more about them - don't know yet.

Tyler and James. Models. Seemed like they wished they could be as open about their love as Tom and Terry. Why do half the guys in these season seem gay?

Vipul and Arti. I liked these two. Bummer they're already out.

The game:

I came in right at some kind of eating challenge. I don't want to know what it was. Vipul almost puked, and that was all I needed to see. As I always say, I'm never the one you want for the eating challenges.

Detour: Labor or Leisure. I think I might've gone with Labor on this one, like just about all the rest of the teams. I'm pretty visual, so I think I would've done well with the pattern, and I'm a lot stronger than you might think. I think I could've knocked out that floor. The tai chi ball dance thing might've taken me too long to get right. Oh, and of course, I would've had to keep stopping to slap the cheerleaders when they got too peppy. As Kevin James says, "Shutty."

Pitstop. Sarah gets major props for getting up that wall. Lyn and Karlyn - those kind of physical challenges will be your doom. And when the models were at the mat with Phil, did anyone else think it looked like Old Phil and the two Younger Phils? Did some stylist come and do all their hair the same?

I'm very happy the race has begun, and I promise to actually watch the entire show next time!

Wake up Sally, and tell Rod to can it.

Why do marketers think that people who watch A&E in the morning have bad taste in music?

I often forego the morning news (after checking the weather forecast and making sure the world hasn't blown up while I slept) for a little "City Confidential" or some "Biography." The morning Biography shows can be iffy - sometimes it's the "classroom" version, which means that it ends about 15 minutes early, and A&E fills the time with old newsreels or "educational" films that schoolchildren were subjected to in the 40s and 50s. But it's still interesting, so if I'm interested in the subject, I'll watch it and then switch back to the news when the main show is over.

This morning, while I got ready for work, I decided to watch a City Confidential episode about a double murder in Emporia, Kansas. There was a slutty woman. A minister! Betrayal! A suspicious car crash!! Lutherans!!! Midwesterners!!!! Who knew they had passion????

While I'm enjoying my morning dose of human frailty, commercials keep coming on for really bad music compilation CDs - by legitimate artists, but nonetheless harrowing. One after the other. There's Rod Stewart singing...other people's hits. Does he not have enough of his own? If he can't come up with anything new, should he not just re-release a new "Greatest Hits" compilation of his own songs? Wasn't it bad enough when he tried doing old standards? Now he's returning to his rock-n-roll roots by tackling Bob Seger ("It's Still the Same") and John Fogerty ("Have You Ever Seen the Rain")? I don't get it. I've never liked Rod Stewart's voice, but it was unique and it worked for his own songs. Kinda like Joe Cocker. But Rod, please - leave other people's material alone. You do NOT have a good voice, and I can promise you, you won't improve on what anyone else has already done. No one should do your stuff, and you should not do other people's stuff.

But that's not all. There's also Aaron Neville - doing the same thing. Now, I'm sorry, but I plead the same friggin' argument here as I did with Rod Stewart. I personally do not like Aaron Neville's voice, but some people do. It's unique. And on his own hits, it works. But STOP THERE. Do NOT try to do other people's stuff. You will suffer by comparison to the artist who made the song a hit in the first place. And for God's sake, stop making those TV ads for the songs. That thing on your face is only getting larger with time, and after I've muted the TV so I don't have to listen to your warbling through other people's songs, I find myself staring and grimacing at the TV, wondering if you couldn't scrape up some nickels and get it removed. It's not like Barbara Streisand's nose - it won't affect your amazing (cough) singing voice.

You'd thing that would be all. But there's more. There's also Julio Iglesias. And guess what he's doing? Singing other people's hits. "I want to know what luf ees. I want you to show meeee." Yes. Foreigner. "Whedever you go, whadever you dooo, I weel be right here, waiting for you..." Richard Marx. You think I'm kidding. Dear God, I wish I were. He's chosen songs from the Cars, Wham!, and other 80s love masters. It's like a car crash the first time you see the commercial. You can't take your eyes away. He stands there with his trademark suit with the untied bowtie hanging down, crooning 80s love songs in his thick Latin accent with his face oh-so-expressive. If it weren't so awful, I'd laugh, but instead I just have to reach, yet again, for the remote and just mute it.

So, again, I query - why do marketers assume that if you're up at 6 a.m., and you're watching A&E, this means that you are the ideal target audience for these CDs? What exactly is the demographic for bad musical taste? Are they the same people who like Thomas Kinkade paintings, because I don't see ads for those in between segments of City Confidential, and I daresay it's the same market. Is it the "up at 6 a.m." thing? Because that likely just means you're employed. Or the A&E thing? Because that probably just means you like non-fiction shows, and so far as I can tell, there is no direct correlation to Rod Stewart or 80s love songs and non-fiction shows. It's a mystery. Perhaps they should do a show on A&E about why washed up has-beens hawk bad compilation CDs on morning television. Enquiring minds want to know.

Discuss.

Today is a Thought Collage day! Woo and hoo. Okay, let's discuss.

1. What is with Justin Timberlake? He's trying to be Mr. Sexy Man with his music, and he's dissin' on American Idol winner Taylor Hicks, and he's just generally kind of being a putz. Let me give you a clue JT. If you're really that sexy, you don't have to tell us. We can see it for ourselves. And if you're really that talented, you don't have to crap on other singers. Just do your thing and we'll hear the difference. What exactly is it that attracts Cameron Diaz? The white man fro? The 20-something attitude? Cameron, baby, aren't there any grown-up men who could sizzle yo foshizzle?

2. Happy days ahead! Happy days ahead! The Amazing Race, Season 10, starts this Sunday!!! Set your Tivos and VCRs if you're going to be out. The show starts at 7:30 CST, and you'll want to watch the first show to decide what teams you want to root for and who you can hate right off the bat. As the game goes on, sometimes you find yourself souring on some teams while others win you over, but I find that having opinions from the start really adds to your enjoyment of the game. Can any of us forget the joy of hating Johnathan (of Johnathan and Victoria) from Season 6? Judy and Angela, I expect to share this viewing experience with you both.

3. Apparently, people in Australia are taking revenge on stingrays because one killed Steve Irwin. At least 10 have been killed and mutilated since Irwin died. WTF? That's seriously disturbed. Irwin's death was a freak accident. The stingray that killed him was a wild animal, and it got scared, and it acted on instinct. In the vast majority of incidents, the sting wouldn't have even killed him. It just happened to catch him in the one spot that could actually kill him. What do these psychos in Australia think - that the thing watched his show, hated him for some reason, found out his shooting schedule, traveled to where he was filming, lay in wait while Irwin shot his show, then picked just the right moment to attack - then slunk off laughing as Irwin passed away? Stingrays are not malicious and they're not even aggressive. They lash their tails when stepped on or frightened. Do you SERIOUSLY think killing and mutilating innocent animals is what Irwin would have wanted? The man spent his life extolling respect for wildlife and conservation, and you a-holes show your grief over his death by murdering animals? Sick.

4. A little relationship advice. If ever you are involved with someone, and for some reason, you determine that you don't want to be involved with that person anymore, or you want to back off considerably, do the other person the simple respect of TELLING them. Explain what is going on. I know it may be uncomfortable, but it's far less uncomfortable than what the other person will go through if you just simply disappear. The other person will be plagued with uncertainty. Why are they backing off? Did I do something? Are they bowing out permanently or do they just need some space temporarily to deal with something? Do I need to make the mental adjustment that this is over and get over the person? Or do I need to be patient during what is just a lull and allow the emotional fires to keep burning?

I know people are afraid of conflict - they're afraid that if they tell the other person honestly what's going on, the other person might make them uncomfortable by being angry or hurt. But I guarantee you, I promise you, the damage is so much less when you tell someone the facts and let them operate from a place of certainty and information than if you leave them floundering around, trying to figure out what's going on. That's what makes someone angry - that you didn't care enough about their feelings to do them the kindness of telling them the truth - that you'd rather they stumbled around in the dark, feeling uncertain and confused until they finally just figure it out on their own (or at least part of it - they may figure out that you're gone, but never know why), weeks after you could have cleared the whole thing up, than deal with a few moments of discomfort. Not only is it disrespectful to the person you're ditching, it costs you their respect. It's no fun to ditch someone, and it's no fun to be ditched, but acting like an adult and just saying, "I need to talk to you. I can't do this right now, and this is why," can change the whole complexion of things. Believe it or not, instead of a chewing out, you might just get, "Thank you for being straight-up with me. I appreciate it." I know I personally have said it.

5. Tamales are good for breakfast.

6. Has anyone else seen this classmates.com ad: usually accompanied by the words, "Where is she now?" or something along those lines, and you thought, "That's not a her. That's Kevin Spacey."? Just wondering if I'm the only one.

Yes, Judy, they're still #1 to us.

Finally! I've been trying all morning to upload pictures and Blogger wouldn't do it. They're now here so I can publish this puppy!

Well, the best team won on Saturday. Ohio State really has it together this year, and while I'm proud of the game Texas played, we had a couple of mistakes that cost us dealy - mistakes Ohio State didn't make. I should say it pained me greatly to see us lose, but honestly, while I was disappointed, I wasn't terribly surprised. I mean, let's be fair here - we had a freshman quarterback, playing only his second game ever, against the #1 team in the country. It would've been amazing if we'd pulled it off!

I'm just heartened by how well Colt and the team DID do. While the Buckeyes never got behind, we were right on their bumper until halfway through the 4th quarter. It didn't really feel out of reach until their last touchdown. That's pretty great. It made for a great game, and it's something our boys can really feel proud about. We won't face another opponent that tough for the rest of the season, and we were right them Saturday, so I think that bodes very well for the rest of the season. And Colt will only get better! I've heard the occasional groan about "He's not Vince" or "If Vince had been in there..." but I have news for everyone: Vince wasn't "Vince" either his first season. And there aren't going to be many Vinces - not in our history and not in anyone else's. He's amazing. He may be another Earl - another legend. So, let go of that and just stay behind Colt. He's doing great, and he's only going to get better with time - just like Vince.

The day itself was great. Sheila and I spent an hour or so at Scholz's - had some barbecue and beer and did a little people watching. We then moved on to the Alumni Center where we watched some other games on big screen, sat in air conditioning, got a little gelato and gabbed. We then headed to the stadium where things bogged down a little. We decided to take the elevators instead of the escalators, and that would've been good except that people had lined up for the emergency elevator, and when they found out they couldn't use that one, they just cut into our line - causing us to miss at least one elevator, which then led to me missing the Air Force flyover when we got up to the upper deck. I was pissed about that. We were *almost* to our gate, when I heard them go over. I yelled "Dammit!" but then Sheila saw that 2 more were coming, so we ran to the side where we could see them, and I got to see (and hear and feel) them go over. That was way cool. I'd hoped to get a picture, though, and wasn't able to...all because of the buttheads at the elevators. There was also almost a fight at the elevator on the other side of us because someone cut in line. Don't cut, people. It's shitty.

I did, however, get a couple of photos of the new scoreboard during the Eyes of Texas:



and the intro for the team coming on the field:



My seats are in the upper deck, in the very first section. It used to be that I was too far to the side to see the replays and such on our old scoreboard, but thanks to our wonderful new Godzillatron, I can see everything! It's something like the biggest HD screen in the U.S. or the civilized world or the known universe or something (It's Texas. It's big - what did you expect?), and I love it!! Yea Godzillatron!

To the Buckeye fans I send out a hearty thank you for their class. I don't know what everyone else experienced in their dealings with the Ohio State fans, but my interactions were all good. They cheered for their team, but didn't denigrate ours or feel like that had to be jerks about it once it was clear they were going to win. In fact, because they behaved so well, the people in my section were joking around with the Buckeyes in our midst - telling them that the rule is whoever wins this game has to win the national championship! They seemed allright with that. :)

Sheila and I talked to a couple of OSU fans who told us that they'd had a great time in Austin, and they'd had good experiences with our fans last year when we came there. They said we should play every year, and we thought that sounded like a good idea! (How much more exciting was this game than the one against, say, North Texas?) We told them congratulations and that we'd be rooting for them - if nothing else we need them to win the whole tamale so our loss doesn't look bad. They laughed and said they'd rooted for us in the Rose Bowl last year.

So, to my Longhorns, I say good job! You did us proud on Saturday. And to Ohio State, I say congratulations, and at least some of us Longhorns will be pulling for you. Good luck with your run for the trophy.

The foosball is the debbil.

Feeling a little better today. Still got gook, but my head isn't hurting as bad. It's also Friday. And I'm happy with my hair today. And most importantly, tomorrow is THE GAME!!!! All in all, a better day than Wednesday.

I get to hang with my homegirls tonight. A bunch of us women folk are going to go to Laurie's tonight to gorge ourselves on pasta, wine and incessant conversation until the wee hours. Should be good! I'm bringing brownies to ensure that there is chocolate representation. Laurie's husband, Tony, is on a cross-country motorcyle trip, so he's being spared the henfest. Laurie loves him, so she waited until he was away to have us all over - no sense in straining her marriage when it's so new and all! ;) Tony, you know you love us.

Tomorrow, it's all about football. That's all there is, and that's enough for anyone. Sheila and I are hammering out last-minute details of our plan for tomorrow. You've got to have a plan. This isn't an ordinary Saturday at DKR.



People have been staking out tailgating spots since Wednesday. I kid you not. I work downtown, just a few blocks from the stadium, and people have been setting up lawn chairs on the sidewalks near my office building and manning them 24 hours a day to claim their spots since Wednesday. This, folks, is full-on. And I love it!!!! Do you see what I mean when I say this is the most glorious time of year???

Incidentally, I should say that while I love UT beyond reason, my favorite football clip is not a UT clip. It's a tackle by Dwayne Slay of Texas Tech during a 2005 game against Kansas State. It's got to be the best friggin' football clip ever. Here's the link to the video of it on YouTube, and if you don't feel yourself going "BOO-YAH!!" when you see it, you are not a football fan. Give up your remote to your wife and start watching soccer or golf or something.

Back to this weekend, though. I, unfortunately, do not have a tailgating clan. I've always wanted one, but never been able to meet one or develop one. I hope to before I die. In the meantime, I satisfy my need for Longhorn comradeship on game day by hitting Scholz's (with the other tens of thousands of people who don't have tailgating clans) or the Alumni Center. Luckily, I'm a Texas Exes Life Member, so I can get into the Alumni Center with a wave of my keyring. This gives me access to beer, food, air conditioning, bathrooms, big screens and sometimes a chair. All in burnt orange. It's a happy place. Tomorrow, we'll start with Scholz's and see how that goes. If the mayhem is too much (meaning we can't move, get to the bathrooms or get served), the Alumni Center it is.

BTW, congratulations to UT's volleyball team! Last night, the #7 Longhorns knocked off #4 Santa Clara in 3 straight games. Awesome ladies! They looked fantastic. I'm sad that Brandy Magee will be out for the season with a torn ACL. She's a senior, and I know it has to be killing her to be on the bench. But I'm glad to see that the team is still strong without her. I'll miss seeing you play, Brandy. Today they'll be playing #2 Penn State. Good luck, and I wish I'd be there to see it! And huge good luck to our football Longhorns tomorrow!! We love you guys and are behind you all the way! HOOK 'EM!!!

Bah. Humbug.

I'm not on my game today. My head hurts and weighs about 20 pounds thanks to allergy-induced goop. I periodically swallow a glob of it, reassuring myself that the pain isn't from some sort of slow brain bleed. That's good.

The congestion hasn't started yet, so I'm still able to think clearly. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm trying to get work done while I'm still coherent. Just let me feel good on Saturday! Not that anything could keep me out of the stands on Saturday. I'd have to be unconscious in an emergency room somewhere to keep me away. But it sure would be nice if I didn't feel like I do now. Or worse.

I don't actually know what it is that's making me feel bad. I haven't bothered to check the allergy report. Does it matter?

I was kind of depressed about various things anyway. This just gives me an excuse to walk around saying, "Who cares?" and instead of people saying, "What's her problem?" they'll just say, "Oh. Allergy. Yeah, that feels like crap." So does being depressed.

I should've known this day was simply to be endured when my cat woke me up at 4:45 a.m. working up a barf. That's just never the way to start the day.

A new standard for performers

It was a fab-o weekend. I mostly did a whole lotta nuthin' - watching football, reading, hangin' with my parents, eating good food and doing a little shopping. It was relaxing. I did go on one outing, though. Saturday night, I went to dinner at Threadgill's with friends and we watched one of my favorite bands, Mingo Fishtrap. Those guys are the greatest! Angela is the true devotee, but she's turned me into one. Miiiiiiingo.

Normally, I'm happy with both aspects of that night - Threadgill's and Mingo. But the service at Threadgill's on Saturday night was atrocious. I think the blame rests squarely on our waitresses' shoulders. I think she forgot to put in our order, because it took a full hour for us to get our food after we ordered, and other tables were not suffering this fate. That was bad enough, but she never apologized or offered any recompense, and when we asked her about our food at the 45-minute mark, she didn't say she'd check on it and then come back and give us an update; she just said she'd "bring it out as soon as it's ready." Well, duh. We figured THAT. We didn't figure it was just sitting there in the kitchen taking up space. She was pleasant enough in her tone - not surly or anything - but an hour wait is unacceptable. If we hadn't been trying to get out to see Mingo, I would've said something to the manager.

Mingo was, as always, awesome! And the venue was great. The stage set-up is in a courtyard outside the restaurant, and they have it set up as a lawn with a plastic chairs and stuff, like these guys have just come to your backyard to entertain you...except that there's green grass in this yard! I actually took my shoes off and let the soft green blades caress my tootsies. I don't remember the last time I felt real, living grass under my feet, what with everything being burnt into hay here. It was bliss. And at the end of the show, cutie patootie lead singer Roger Blevins Jr. achieved a new level of professionalism. The man redefined the phrase, "The show must go on." I'm not kidding.

Roger is up there, the band is playing, he's periodically commenting or singing into the microphone while continuing to strum on the guitar, and I see him kind of pluck at his shirt a couple of times, near the collarbone, but it doesn't really register. Then the trumpet player (or maybe the sax player - I don't remember) tells the audience that a wasp has flown into Roger's shirt! No shit! The thing is still IN his shirt...stinging him! It obviously stung him around the collarbone - I could tell from the way he was touching his shoulder. But then the damn thing moved down, stinging him again on the chest! You could see a blood spot. And Roger just kept going!!

He made reference to it a few times as we all stared in horrified fascination, saying things like, "This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life" and "Aren't these things supposed to die after they sting you?" But the man kept playing. We were yelling at him to take off the shirt (okay, yes, that would've been pleasant for other reasons, but honestly, if it had been me, my shirt would've been on the floor about two seconds after Mr. Bee made his divebomb under my collar. And you wouldn't have needed the horn player to tell you what was happening. The screaming, flailing and pleas for Benadryl would've told you all you needed to know.), but no. The most he did was step to the side once and shake his shirttail to try to dislodge the little monster. He played through at least 3 more songs, did his PAs for the next night's show and finished a final little riff to wrap up the show, then tore off his guitar and WALKED (as opposed to the frantic running I would've been doing) to the bathroom, where presumably, he finally took off his damn shirt.

We visited the restroom before leaving and saw some wench who MUST have been drunk open the men's room door and shove a plastic cup toward him which she informed him was filled with tobacco which he should put on the stings. He thanked her politely, and I have to assume threw the nasty concoction in the trash. Who the hell knows where the tobacco came from - someone's mouth perhaps. Yeah, wouldn't be touching my body. Thanks, lady.

(Two final notes. I'm very sad about Steve Irwin getting killed this weekend. He was quite a guy and getting killed by a stingray like that is a freak thing. The world is a little darker today without his light. And to the two UT football players who got arrested this weekend: You're idiots. And thanks alot - the team really needs this crap this week. Way to go.)

And the Lord said, "It is good."

I believe Colt McCoy will do just fine as UT's new quarterback. Just fine indeed. In fact, I'm feeling good about this whole team and this whole season after seeing today's game. I liked what I saw. Yes, I did.

I realize we were playing UNT this week, not Ohio State, and I have heard the naysayers who predict that Ohio State will beat us next week - no question, but I wonder if any of those Buckeye Backers are feeling a little less confident about that prediction after seeing the '06 Horns in action. I know I'm feeling better about us now that I've seen what we've got!

I'm watching Ohio State beat up on Northern Illinois right now, but they're not dominating NI as much as we dominated UNT, so next week should be quite a game! I think this week was exactly what Colt McCoy needed to get his feet under him - to get confidence that he can lead this team. He seems so young in his interviews, I can hardly believe he's old enough to be our QB! Are we sure he's in college? But he played assertively this week and with real poise. And our defense was amazing! I can't wait to see what they'll do next week.

Incidentally, the Ohio State tickets are now selling for $2,000 a piece. I have two. And I ain't sellin'. I missed out on seeing the Ohio State game in person last year. And OU. And the A&M game. And the Big 12 championship. And the national championship. No way I'm giving up the chance to be in the stands next Saturday! Not even for what amounts to a down payment on a car. You think I'd sell out my Horns in their hour of glory (or at least their first hour of glory this season) so some schmuck who doesn't love them enough to buy season tickets can go to the game? I have to live with myself ya know.