It's okay. Really.

Isn't it a nice feeling when you reach the point in your life when you realize there is no perfection? It lifts such a burden. In so many ways, it takes a weight off of you. I've had occasion over the last couple of days to think about this, and I think it's a relief from several perspectives.

1. You aren't perfect, and you never will be, so quit torturing yourself with insecurity about all the myriad ways you don't measure up. No one else does either. And in the end, no one would want to be around you if you WERE perfect, because they would always feel like they didn't measure up, so your imperfection - your humaness - in the end makes you more approachable and easier to be with. People are relieved when they can be their imperfect selves with you. So, be the best that you can be, but don't be afraid to say, "Here are my quirks and my imperfections. Can you love me anyway?" The ones who say, "YES!" are the ones you really want around.

2. No one else is perfect either. Know going into any relationship - one with a lover, a friend, or even a workmate - that they will not be *exactly* what you want in every possible way. It's simply not reasonable to ask it or expect it, and it's not fair to beat the other person up when they fall short of what you wish they were.

Instead, see them as they are and accept them for who they are. Let them know what you can and can't live with and see if you can find a relationship with them that really works for both of you - not one where either of you has to pretend to be something you're not or has to hide who you are, but one where you can each be yourself and any adjustments you make in your behavior or attitudes to account for the other person's feelings or sensibilities are not sacrifices, but considerations. We all must be true to ourselves, but it's also a mark of strength when you can be flexible and considerate of someone else - when you know what battles are worth fighting and which ones aren't.

3. Not only are people not perfect, neither are situations, jobs, events, etc. It's okay if your job gets boring sometimes, or your flowers weren't exactly right at your wedding, or your cat threw up on the couch. It's okay. If you get way more from something than the irritation costs, let go of the imperfection and concentrate on all the things that work about it. Do you like your job - does it work for you and your life? Did anyone even notice that the flowers weren't right, and more importantly, did you get married and have fun at the reception? Do you like your cat? Then it's all good. Don't ruin something that works by focusing on the few small things that in your fantasyland would be different.

I like to think that if you *know* going in that no person, situation or event will be perfect, you take away all the power of imperfection. It doesn't surprise you when you find a flaw (or someone finds one in you), because you already knew there would be one, so you can see it for what it is, in context, without the shock of an unexpected blow or the distorted lens of unfair expectations. And just having the right expectation so often does the lion's share of the work toward making something manageable.

I think understanding that concept and really assimilating it comes with maturity. I'll look at that as a plus as I knock on the door of a new decade in my aging and grimace - after all, I'm probably going to get more practice at embracing my imperfection as I get older, huh? ;)