Napolean complex

I'm about to make a stereotype here, so I should start with a disclaimer. The stereotype I'm going to discuss is about short men. I should say up front that it does not apply to ALL short men. I not only know some short men who are not like this stereotype, I've even dated a few. And believe me, if the guys I dated had been remotely like this, I wouldn't have given them the time of day, much less dated them. So, that's my disclaimer. If you're a short guy, and you know this isn't you, don't take offense.

That said, I've met enough short men that DO fit this description for me to know it's true. Stereotypes develop for a reason.

The stereotype I'm talking about is the Napolean complex. In a nutshell, men suffering from this affliction are short men who feel that their stature in some way diminishes their manhood, so they have to make up for it by being angry, arrogant, pushy, short-tempered, loud, obnoxious - in general, assholes. If they are able to wrangle the least bit of power, they will use it like a club to beat anyone they can into submission. They're yellers. They're sarcastic. They're impatient. They have to belittle you to feel good about themselves.

Napoleanites, as I shall call them here, feel that they have to be as overtly manly, in the worst possible way, to remind you that they are, in fact, men. They are, in a word, pathetic. My dad use to say it simply: "Small men and small dogs." He didn't have to say more. Watch a small dog barking and snarling at some Irish Wolfhound, simply for walking nearby, and you get the picture.

Well, here's a newsflash to all you Napoleanites out there: no one buys it. We don't think you're manly. We're think you are (as I said above) pathetic. You are tiny little men in the way that counts - not as a measure of your height, but as a measure of your personhood.

You don't come off as strong. You come off as out-of-control, insecure, mean, unstable, unpleasant and afraid. Let's take two examples of men who appear to be anything BUT those things - and I'll pick one from each side of the political aisle so as to appeal to all readers: Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan. Pick the one you like, and then let's ask these questions:

1. Can you picture this guy yelling at someone to get something he wants done?
2. Can you picture this man firing off a sarcastic, mass email about something someone has done that he doesn't like, rather than just talking like a rational human being to whoever did it?
3. Can you picture this guy starting a fight, or better yet, beating the crap out of a copier when it doesn't do what he wants (when all it would really take is actually pushing a few buttons to get the setting he needs)?
4. Can you picture this guy in a meeting, sitting back in his chair with a smug smirk while someone tries to present something to him, as if to say, "You amuse me with your insignificance"?

No. You probably can't picture of any of these things. Because a real man, who is confident of his abilities and secure with himself doesn't need to do any of those things. He treats people with respect and dignity and makes them feel valued. And people know they can approach him, and he will listen - even if he doesn't give them the answer they want, he won't diminish them. And these qualities have nothing to do with how tall you are. They do, however, have everything to do with how small you look.