India, that ain't holy water

So, the Hindu nationalist movement in India is marketing a new soft drink...made from cow pee. Yes. Urine.

If you didn't know it already, Hindus consider the cow sacred, so I guess that means anything that issues from the cow is equally sacred. Well, that's all well and good, but I'm a Christian, and I consider Jesus sacred, and I wouldn't drink his pee - and he wouldn't ask me to. Jesus is cool like that.

I had a science teacher in 7th Grade who (as all science teachers do) tried to convince us about the purity of urine. She even went so far as to tell us she would drink it. After I got my gag reflux under control, I waited for her to prove it. She didn't. And outside of a cable survivalist show, I don't think anyone else ever has either. Because it's foul.

That should be obvious. I mean, have you noticed that your body *expels* urine? It doesn't want it. It's not designed as something for you to TAKE IN. It's something you get rid of. See how that works? No drinky the pee.

In conclusion, as a lover of Coca-Cola, I would like to petition that this vile bastardization of all that is delicious, sugary and carbonated not even be allowed to be called a soft drink. Tell them they have to call it a "piss beverage," or, you know, "disgusting." And they should have to come up with packaging that very clearly indicates what's inside. Because if I'm a tourist, visiting the Taj Majal and shopping for saris, and I get parched because it's freakin' India, and I accidentally drink Holy Cow! (that's what I'd call it if I were the marketing director), well, someone's seen their last Indian sunrise.