You don't needs nads to wax.

Friday, Friday! I'm very happy about the weekend, because I can sleeeep tomorrow morning! I've had allergies this week, and they make me tired, and no matter what time I go to bed, the alarm still went off much too early all week. So tomorrow, blissful sleep.

So, last night I did something I've never done before - something I had to tackle a little fear to do. I got a...bikini wax!!! I know - a bikini wax in October? Not exactly swimsuit season. But give me a break. I had to work up some courage. Besides I figured I'd check it out now - see if it's as bad as you hear, see how long it takes for the irritation that logically ensues from ripping hair out by the root to subside so you actually could put on that bathing suit and be seen in public without scaring small children, see how long it lasts. This is research.

To help me with the fear part, I made one of my friends go with me. She's never done it either and also wanted to check it out, so we went together. I researched reviews on the Web of various places and found one I was comfortable with. After a few false starts on getting an appointment (my friend and I had limited availability on when we could both do it, and then we had to keep re-setting the appointment as...female issues...caused us each to decide on different weeks that we needed, perhaps, one more week to be "ready"), we finally had D-Day last night.

I got there first, and the lady was able to get me right in, ahead of our appointment, so I was on my own for my appointment. She was very nice and really put me at ease - none of the awkwardness I was afraid I'd feel exposing my nether regions to a total stranger. I'm not even 100% comfortable with my annual gyno exam, and I've gone to my gyno for about 12 years, so that says alot about this woman's power to put you at ease. She handed me a pair of paper panties, then made me laugh telling me that some clients get a wee bit confused about how to wear them. The panties consist of two pieces of paper joined by little pieces of elastic. The paper covers your privates and the elastic sits your hips. Pretty basic stuff. But she said she's come in on occasion to find that someone has made a g-string configuration with the elastic, and, well, that's not right.

I got changed and readied myself with great trepidation for the "procedure." She spread warm wax on the important spots, and I thought, "Well, this part is good. I hope this isn't like childbirth - the first part of the process is really great, but the last part makes you want to rip streetlights out of the pavement and hurl them at people you love." She put the fabric in place (and by "fabric" I mean "ripping apparatus"), I steeled myself, and shftp! That was it. A moment of sting, but nothing I couldn't handle. I was so relieved!

My friend, who arrived after I was done, and who I assured, "It's not that bad," seemed to have a bit rougher of a time with it than I did. So, maybe I've developed some sort of new tolerance for pain, but this would be highly unusual for me. It'd be like I became a new character on "Heroes." Claire - the one whose body heals itself, and Suzanne - the one who can get a bikini wax without flinching. I think it's more likely that I just expected it to be much worse than it ended up being. My expectation was based on a really bad experience with Nad's.



Nad's is a home waxing kit, though they don't call it that, because whatever the "stuff" is that they use, it's not actually wax. It's some other substance that adheres to your hair so that you can pull it out by the root. The key word in that sentence is "you" - so that YOU can pull it out by the root. That, my friends, is important. You see, they had a bunch of commercials out several years ago saying how painless it was and showing people on a beach getting demonstrations of the product and acting like they were eating ice cream. Why, it's refreshing, I tell you! But it's not refreshing, and those people weren't doing it to themselves. A professional was doing it.

They did not, themselves, have to pull that piece of fabric, and let me tell you, the pulling of the fabric is the whole enchilada. It's gotta be QUICK! You have to be determined, and sure of yourself, and pull that baby off with purpose. The slightest hesitation, and I know this now, is a freeway to hell. I managed one searing, hesitant pull of the Nad's fabric, and after I stopped crying and iced down my crotch, I packed that crap up, took it back to Walgreen's and told the sales guy (yes GUY) that they should be using that stuff to torture terror suspects. (Funny sidenote: For weeks that store's sign proudly proclaimed "We've got Nads!" Well, good. You'll need them if you want to use that product.)

So, you can see where I had grave expectations for the wax. It's probably been 6 years since the Nads debacle, and only now was I willing to give it another shot. But this time, I did it right - with a professional who knew what she was doing. Now, I'm not saying it was a massage. It's not something you'd do for the sensation if there weren't some benefit attached. It does hurt. But unlike, say, piercing my belly button, which caused me to almost pass out about 3 times, this was definitely a pain I could take and would be willing to put up with again in the future if the irritation doesn't last too long (the affected areas are a touch tender today), and the results do last a while. The lady who did mine said 7-10 days is about average - not the three weeks I was hoping for! But better than the 24 hours you get with shaving (complete with worse irritation than what I've got from waxing - suprisingly). So, all in all, I'd say this was a successful test so far.

I'm sure there are women who get waxed on a regular basis - like every 2 or 3 weeks, or even every week...you know, "exotic dancers." But I don't see that being where I'd fall on the schedule. I'm more likely to look at doing it when I've got a nice beach vacation coming up or something like that. How nice would it be to go your whole vacation without having to worry about razor burn, stubble or curlies reaching out of your bathing suit? But we'll just see. Oh, and I don't see the Brazilian making an appearance anytime soon either. Let's not get crazy.