Elvis.

I was watching the news this morning, and all the anchors kept mentioning how the visiting Japanese Prime Minister, Junichiro Koizumi, loves Elvis Presley - like a fan in the borderline "fanatic" realm. And this got me to thinking.

It's odd how the rest of the world proclaims us to be so awful (we have no class, we're big imperialist bullies, we're prudes, we're unhealthy, we're too rich - that one escapes me - we're this, we're that), and yet not only do people risk life and limb to get here, but they can't seem to get enough of being like us or worshipping people who are nothing more than icons of American culture. Elvis Presley didn't cure cancer. He didn't invent computers, or even the Internet, or even television. He didn't discover the theory of relativity or broker lasting peace in the Middle East or pioneer organ transplantation. He didn't even write his own songs. He was a singer. That's it - a performer if you really must give him a boost.

Now, I like Elvis. Don't get me wrong. I like his music and I find his life story interesting, if not cautionary, and I agree that was a good-lookin' man when he was young.



But good grief, WHAT is with people idolizing the guy? He wasn't exactly someone to pattern your life after (unless it is your goal to die bloated and drug-addicted on your toilet at the age of 42), and yet countless people seem to be obsessed with the man. And here is where it gets interesting to me: many of those people aren't American.

Elvis was quintessentially American. It doesn't get much more American. His story is an American story: the poor, rural kid who ends up fabulously wealthy and successful on the merits of his talent and hard work. No caste system here in America! His music was American: bluesy rock and roll. His speech was American: good ole Southern boy. His looks were American: nice-looking mutt - or at least we guess he's a mutt. No one seems to know his ethnicity, and it doesn't matter. Because he's American, and we're pretty open about those things! Everything about this guy was American! Even his death of excess was American.



So, if America and things-American are bad, why is Elvis so revered the world round? Because we're not so bad, that's why. And because people can safely love us by saying they love Elvis - even if they don't admit that lovin' Elvis is in part loving America. But it is. Admit it, Mr. Koizumi: You love us. You luuuuuuuv us.