Cinnastix with lots of icing

It's Turkey Day! If you work at my office, that is - and if you pony up $8 for a catered Thanksgiving meal with people you see all day everyday, a country and western singer who is clearly rocketing up the charts, and kitschy door prizes you can't give away.

You think I'm kidding. I "won" one of these door prizes last year. It was some sort of autumn-themed Raggedy Ann doll plant cozy thing. Apparently you're supposed to put the doll on a shelf where its legs hang off the side, and in the doll's lap was a receptacle where you'd put a plant - or maybe candy, but who's going to eat candy out of a doll's lap? It was hideous. I realize that sounds ungrateful - somebody designed that thing and made it, and I won it, and I should probably be respectful of the artistic effort that went into it and appreciative of the generous thought of the people who gave it to me. But listen carefully - it was a doll plant cozy. Martha Stewart would've thrown up. And I literally could not give it away! I tried. I told people, "It's yours! A gift!" And they would thank me politely, then "forget" and leave it behind when they left. My mom finally had to dispose of it in a white elephant exchange. I'm guessing the guy who got stuck with it in that exchange will gleefully be sticking someone else with it this year.

So you can imagine my excitement at the prospect of walking away with more booty this year. I personally wish that since we're all going to be having this exact same meal in two weeks with our families, the office versions would feature pizza and Cinnastix instead of turkey and dressing. And let's make it a real celebration - let's have some beer or a margarita machine. And for door prizes, give us gift certificates for gas - Texaco or Chevron or something. Now all THAT I'd be grateful for!