Older and wiser

The reunion was an interesting experience. It was a lot like stepping into a time machine.

I grew up in Houston. I graduated high school and moved to Austin to go to college. After college, I returned to Houston for a couple of years, but ended up back in Austin in 1994 and have been here ever since. That means I've been in Austin almost as many years as I was in Houston - not quite, but getting there.

I still go to Houston pretty regularly, but usually it's to visit my family there. I don't go out there or have any kind of social network. I have a friend or two there, but we don't usually get together when I'm there. It's not home anymore. Austin is. Austin is where my life is - the life I created, rather than the life I was born into. It's my friends, my work, my literal home, some family, and it's most of my experiences for the last 13 years. It's my life. Houston is the stage my past played out on.

I had a good childhood, and I like Houston. It has a lot to offer, and I like that I know the city - that I can get around in this enormous expanse with a fair degree of confidence. And I never feel uncomfortable there. Until this weekend.

Suddenly, in this place of my past, surrounded by people from my past, I felt out of place - like I was in some weird dream that just kept going for two days. Many of the people were familiar, though some were not, and everyone was very nice. It was actually really good to see that most people had outgrown the old cliques and juvenile crap and they were genuinely interested in finding out what had happened with everyone. It was neat to see who I remembered and who remembered me. But it truly felt like a moment out of synch with my reality.

These people aren't part of my life anymore. I remember them, but in a vauge, imprinted kind of way - like a tattoo that's gotten really old and faded and kind of run and doesn't really belong anymore.

I came away feeling glad that I went - happy to see the old faces and learn what had happened with everyone and see how everyone had sort of levelled. But I also came away feeling a strong conviction about how much I like my life now. I was really ready to get back to it. I may not have everything I want the way I want it, but the life I've made for myself is a good one. It fits me. It works. I have wonderful friends and a great family and a house I like and a career that I'm proud of, and...well, I'm just grateful for the way my life has turned out.

So, I'm glad I went to my reunion. And I'm glad to be back. I don't think I'll need to go to another reunion, but this time (I said that before), it's in a good way.