If Dick Clark's not using his wheelchair, give it to me.

I'd love to think I had something interesting or humorous to say today, but the truth is I just feel crapodelic. My allergies are really in high gear now, and I'm doing my best to ward off this stuff becoming a sinus infection, but I think I'm just kidding myself. An infection is looming, and it's just a matter of when.

And when I get like this, I can't even really think very clearly, which makes me useless at work. But I go because it's kind of a holiday week, and I fear that my bosses will think I'm just scamming vacation days by using sick days. I know this is stupid since I've sat at my desk coughing and blowing my nose all week. Any half-wit can see that I'm not well. But that's not going to stop me from going to the New Year's Eve gala tomorrow. No siree. I've got a new dress. And shoes. And a matching purse. So, if I'm going to that, I'm having trouble justfiying why I shouldn't come to work. It's silly, though. I have sick days - I should use them. This is what they're for!

Next week I'm not being this stupid. No one wants to hear me hacking up a lung over here. They don't want to hear my nose emptying into a tissue every 10 minutes. Even if I'm not contagious, if I don't feel good and I'm just annoying my co-workers, I should stay home.

I used to work with a guy once who we wished would stay home more often. He was old and had some kind of respiratory thing where he repeatedly coughed up stuff that he then spit into his trashcan. It was nasty - truly disgusting. Then he had a car accident, and he was shaken up, but not really hurt. But he managed to get a doctor's note that allowed him to take advantage of FMLA. The guy didn't show up for work for 2 months. And for the next 6 months, he showed up only sporadically. It was unbelievable. At one point, they thought they'd try giving him a laptop and making him work from home. Somewhere along the line he had to turn the laptop back in, and they found gay porn all over it. No lie. And you know what? He still wasn't fired. But here I sit worried about taking legitimate sick days.

Maybe my allergies have affected my sanity.

My first resolution is...

My first New Year's resolution is to find shoes to match the dress I bought for New Year's Eve! I'm going to be going to a real NYE ball this year, so I went out and bought a kickin' dress! If you're all really nice, and I end up with a picture I really like, maybe I'll post it. But don't hold your breath - I'm not photogenic and hardly ever like pictures of myself!

I'm going to the gala because two of my friends play in one of the bands that's performing - LC Rocks. My friends are Angela and Laurie, the estrogen portion of the band. To see them, you have to go to the "Pictures" then "Band" links. Ang and Laurie used to play all the gigs with LC Rocks, but for people with day jobs, that's a lot to ask. So, now they just play special events, like New Year's Eve! It's a really fun band, and my friends are really fun, and I can't wait! Laurie actually got engaged on stage at an LC Rocks gig earlier this month - how rock and roll is that? :)

Maybe sometime in the next 3 days I'll come up with an *actual* resolution for the new year. Then I'll only have 2 months to figure out what to give up for Lent this year! It has to be something actually in the realm of possibility, but difficult enough that I know I'm doing it. But first a resolution or two. I'll let you know if I come up with anything!

The party's over.

Christmas is over. I know this because today I had to go to work. I like my job, as jobs go, but it's still a job. I must awake to the sound of an alarm, go to an office, spend untold hours sitting under flourescent lights and watch a clock for appointed breaks to release me from my cement and glass cage to go run errands or have lunch. My life is not my own. I work for The Man, and The Man owns my day. By virtue of that fact alone, I look forward to weekends and holidays and any time I don't have to be at work. I hate to think how miserable it would be if I didn't like my job. In fact, I need not ponder that like it's something I'm unfamiliar with. I've had jobs I hated, and it was truly miserable.

One job in particular leaps to mind. I would've enjoyed the work if I hadn't worked with the devil's spawn. There were 7 of us in the office, and 4 of the people are people I hope only bad things ever happen to for the rest of their lives. They are mean-spirited, horrible, awful people who worked overtime to make me miserable for no reason I could ever understand, and I hope they reap every moment of agony that they've sown. I realize that it's ony two days after Christmas and that's not exactly the spirit of the season. I'm not saying I'll have anything to do with inflicting said agony. The day I left that place was the last moment I ever had anything to do with any of those people. I'm out - clear. I'm just saying that I don't have that whole "love thine enemy" thing working. Maybe some day I'll elevate to some new level of Christian love that will transcend all this human reaction stuff. Until then, devil spawn, what comes around goes around - it's your karma, man, and good luck with it.

Speaking of karma, if there's anyone out there who hasn't seen "My Name is Earl" you've GOT to catch it! It's my absolute favorite new show of this year. It's on NBC and it has been on Tuesdays at 8:00 CST, but it's moving to Thursday nights as part of a new Must-See TV style lineup with The Office. I had a big crush on Jason Lee until I found out he's a Scientologist. That made my face scrunch up. But he's still cute as can-be, and the show is just great. The Office, too, is funny, but I'm a fan of the original so it's taken some getting use to for me to make the switch to the American version. Steve Carrell is a little different in the role of the boss than Ricky Gervais was - his character is a little more sympathetic than David Brent was. Ricky Gervais was absolutely brilliant. But Steve Carrell is one of my favorite comedians, so give that a shot, too, if you haven't.

I'm glad about the move because now My Name is Earl won't compete with The Amazing Race on Tuesdays. I have a satellite dish, and I don't have the DVR version, which means I can't tape on one channel while watching another. I know - it's like a step back into the early '80s. But I just can't justify additional television cost right now, and DVR would cost extra every month, yet I luv my satellite dish. So, the single-channel limitation is an albatross I shall live with for the time being. Anyway, I was having to tape Earl on my broadcast tv in my spare bedroom and watch TAR live, and the quality on the broadcast set isn't too hot. So, I'll be glad to stop that little operation. All I ask is that TAR never do this family version of the show again. That was lame. The challenges weren't as good, the travel wasn't as good, and the kids were annoying. Let's stick with adults, traveling all over the world, bungee jumping from rickety bridges into a pit of tigers while someone's a-hole husband screams in the background about how much better he is than everyone else...one episode before he goes DOWN! *That's* The Amazing Race I love to watch.

I think I'll start wearing my purple hat now.

If I ever live in Houston again, I'm going to have to become a member of the Houston Museum of Natural Science. They just have so many cool exhibits. Earlier this year I saw a Peruvian exhibit there that was really interesting, and today when we went to see the Princess Diana exhibit, there was this mummy exhibit that also caught my eye that I would like to have seen. We didn't have time, and it would've been another $15, so we didn't do it, but it would've been cool. And I still haven't made it into the butterfly center that's on site.

In addition to the Princess Di exhibit, my mom and I also hit a few of our favorite spots downtown. We went to Rice Village and spent a little time perusing in a British store we like, and we also had lunch at one of our favorite delis. It's called Kahn's Deli and it's kind of a legacy deli. The guy who owns it is a second generation deli guy. His dad owned Alfred's Deli, which was also supah. It was the best tuna on rye with swiss I may have ever had. Good stuff. I overheard the owner say he's thinking about retiring, though. That would be a bummer - another Houston landmark going by the wayside! I hope it's not gone too soon.

Speaking of lunch, my mom and I had a really great lunch last Saturday with my old friend Judy. Judy's got a great blog that just cracks me up! She was actually the inspiration for my starting a blog.

Anyway, Judy and I have been friends almost our whole lives. We first met in...first grade? I'm not exactly sure, but that's okay, because neither is she! We know it was in elementary school. She's got a few reminiscences about our childhoods together on her blog, and I'm going to put a few here, because old friends - the kind that stick with you all through the years - deserve tribute.

Judy's dad was the minister at the church I went to growing up. So, we were not only school chums and neighborhood pals, but we were church mates as well, and one of my favorite memories was hitting the church kitchen after the service on communion Sunday. See, in the Methodist church, we don't use wine for communion. We use grape juice. You fill up hundreds of these tiny little cups, then you serve the little cups to people with their pinch of bread. But at the end of the service, there's sometimes leftover grape juice. What to do, what to do? Well, Judy and I knew what to do! We hit the kitchen before any of the church ladies could get there, and we drained as many of those little cups as we could! Just doin' our part, people.

In addition to many an afternoon playing together when we lived in the same neighborhood, we had summer trips to her grandmother's beach house, and trips to my grandmothers' houses in Luling, and when she and her family moved to Jacksonville, I took my first bus trip (my only bus trip I think) all the way to Jacksonville to visit for a week! I remember the great house they lived in, and helping out at Vacation Bible School, and showing her the picture of my middle school crush, but most vividly, I remember jamming the living bejesus out of my thumb! We were riding bikes, and we got to some railroad tracks, and since we were like 11, you did things like putting your thumb on a screw for luck (or to ward off bad luck - who remembers?) when you went over the tracks. Well, I dutifully found a screw on my bike, and put my thumb on it, but as we went over the tracks, there was a bit of a chasm between the road and the track, and the bike went ka-THUNK into the abyss, jamming my thumb into the screw. I thought my thumb was broken!! We jetted home, told our tale of woe to her Mom, who took a look at my thumb, said I'd be fine and gave me a s'more. Interestingly, that did seem to aid in my recovery.

You can read all about one of our later adventures in college at Judy's site. We've been through some interesting times! We haven't always been down the street from each other, but we've always been around - keeping in touch and making the effort to see each other when it's been too long. Her blog is so great for me because I get to feel like I'm part of her daily life, even if I'm just reading about it! It's been so great to be present for the big events in her life - when she got married and the shower for Travis when he was on his way - but the daily stuff is what keeps you feeling like you still know each other. I love that, because Judy is someone you want to know. I'm very lucky to have her as my friend, and I know we will always be friends. We'll be the old ladies who wear the purple hats and pretend that the reason we say things we shouldn't is because we're senile. It's gonna be great, isn't it Judy?

Finally, the HOLIDAY is here!

I've been MIA - I know! I've been looking at my blog for days, knowing I needed to post, but it's just been low on the list of things I *must* do to get ready for Christmas!

I had some last-minute shopping, then last-minute wrapping, then last-minute social engagements, then last-minute work stuff, last-minute packing, last-minute baking - it's been insane, I tell ya!!!

But I'm finally on holiday. I'm finally off work for 4 whole days, and I'm out of town where none of my usual distractions can keep me from my online obligation to my adoring public...both of you out there must be so relieved.

I'm immersed in the loving embrace of my niece and nephew, and the loving tolerance of the adults in my immediate family. I am surrounded by baked goods, recliners and nonstop basketball and football games. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to venture out and see the Princess Di exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

A favorite pastime of people in Austin is to rip on Houston (Oh, the traffic! Oh, the humidity! Oh, the pollution! yadda, yadda) But I grew up here, and while I'm very happy with my life in Austin, I admit freely that there are times I miss Houston. It's got everything. It's got every sport you could want to watch and every kind of cultural or artistic endeavor you could be interested in. All the major shows, be it concerts or sporting events (the Super Bowl anyone?) or museum exhibits, etc., make a stop here. You can catch a non-stop flight to anywhere in the world. You're an hour from the beach. There's every kind of food. There's nothing you could possibly need that you can't get, probably the same day. There's the best medical care in the world. And while there are plenty of opportunities to dress up and enjoy puttin' on your ritz, it's also much more laid back and casual than Dallas. And the city just plain has it together. Whether it's putting on a huge event, building a massive freeway project, or evacuating millions in 48 hours ahead of a hurricane, this city just plain gets it done. They know what they're doing and how to do it, on time and on budget and right. How freakin' long has it taken Austin to build the freeway at I-35 and Ben White?? Oh yeah - it's still not done!!!

So, anyone who doesn't know Houston, don't listen to the haters. It's a great city - it really is. I'm happy to be here with my fam, the opportunity to avail myself of this great city, and so very happy to be able to concentrate for a little while on the real meaning of this holiday - the gift that God gave the world in his son Jesus. I've been so busy this season, I haven't thought about that as much as I should have. I hope I'll be able to focus a little on that in the next few days. I'm so blessed in my life, and I'm so grateful for all that God has given me.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Maybe I'm just allergic to breathing.

Did I say Austin is the most kick-ass city in the country? Because I may have to move. My allergies are pounding me. I've said that before when my allergies were particularly debilitating, but that's when cedar fever had me prostrate for almost 2 months straight. This time, the cedar hasn't even started blooming yet! It would appear I've now developed a sensitivity to molds. I'm doomed.

For anyone reading this who doesn't know Austin, we have allergens like nobody's business. Seriously. As part of our weather forecasts, we have allergy forecasts. And the mother of all allergens is cedar. It's so strong and affects so many people, the reaction is called cedar fever and it's a regular part of conversation and newscasts. It's something like a third of the population just gets hammered by it, and I have often been among that third.

It's the MALE trees that cause the problem (no surprise there, huh ladies?). They produce so much pollen that they appear to be smoking at times, particularly if there's any breeze.



I don't feel well enough at the moment to make the obvious comparisons to males of the human species. Just do your best to think of what hilarious comment I might make and giggle to yourself. Anyway a low amount of cedar pollen in the air is considered to be less than 499 grains per cubic meter. I've seen it register at more than 6,000 in Austin. It's brutal.

And now, I'm also being abused by molds. It just ain't right. All that's left is oak - our spring allergy culprit. I develop a sensitivity to that, and I may not be able to leave the house long enough to even pack a moving van. I just hope my current allergy-muddled state is not an indication that things will only get worse as Mr. Cedar makes his appearance. January is the worst month for it. I'm poppin' Zyrtec and drinking liquids to keep everything "flowing" so I don't create an environment friendly for sinus infection. But I fear I may be kidding myself.

It's a good thing this city has a lot of great, affordable restaurants. Otherwise, UHaul might have a new customer.

Valet parkers are scum.

I went to happy hour last night at a place that's really designed for people with bigger incomes than mine. It's called Z Tejas. It's yummy food, and it's not outrageously priced, but it ain't Chili's. And while I enjoy the cache of saying that's where I'm going for happy hour, which is really just dinner with drinks first, because it makes me sound sophisticated and successful, the truth is that I end up scanning the menu for the cheapest thing I can order that will actually fill me up and yet not make me look like I'm trying to find the cheapest thing. So, I don't necessarily order THE cheapest thing - I'll order something *just* a little more expensive than that - like 50 or 75 cents more expensive. See - I'm not poor! I'm just not that hungry!

Admittedlly, there was a time I would've ordered THE cheapest thing and water. Now, I can order a step up and a glass of (cheap) wine. And if it was a special occasion, and it wasn't the Christmas season, and I hadn't been socializing a lot lately, I actually COULD work a real Z Tejas dinner into my budget. It's not THAT expensive. So, I'm movin' on up...to a deluxe apartment...in the sky. But I've been spending a lot of money going out lately, so last night it was time to tighten the belt and stick to the appetizer menu for my dinner.

Anyway, what makes me realize that I'm only marginally at the Z Tejas level of society isn't actually the food. It was the valet parking. See, the restaurant has a lot right next to it, that they start blocking off for valet-parking only at 5:30. There is also a lot behind the restaurant that they don't own, and that they can't block off. Anyone who can find a spot can park in that lot for free. I happen to get there about 5:25, and the valet spots were already blocked off, so I head up to the free lot (which is where I would've parked anyway). Well, as I'm gathering my stuff in the car, I see the valet guy whip into the free lot to...you guessed it...take up the free spots before other restaurant patrons could get them, thus forcing them to pay for valet parking, because gee, all the free spots were taken!

Valet scumbags.

But, you see, I was probably the only one bothered by that, except for maybe my friends who were with me that had to park blocks away because they, too, weren't ponying up for the valet parking and, gee, all the free spots nearby were taken. Everyone else in the restaurant probably paid their $5 (plus tip I'm sure) and happily stepped on into the restaurant for their dinner off the dinner menu, with nary a thought as to the devious valets and their mysterious ways.

I realize that the fact I can even complain about this means I'm doing just fine in life. I'm not relegated to McDonald's, and I have friends to actually have dinner with at a nice restaurant. But these things must be pointed out!

On the upside, my appetizer dinner was good and filled me up just fine (though I think I might have read our bill wrong and not put in as much as I should have - I think I thought Angela's salad price was my appetizer price. I'll definitely make that up to you, girls, if I did that!), and our service was great. The waitress was really nice, even though we camped at our table for more than 3 hours, and I enjoyed my evening very much. But we shan't be doing happy hour there again anytime soon. We're sticking to places with better parking opportunties.

A weekend in the life...

I had an eventful weekend - mostly the good kind of eventful, as in lots of fun things to do, but also a few less than entertaining things.

It started Friday night with dinner and a movie with my homies - that means my girlfriends. We went to see Shopgirl. I liked the movie, as I'd liked the book, but had a few issues with it, as I had the book. I won't get into them here, because it's "writer" stuff that only other writers could possibly care about ("He needs to SHOW more - he keeps TELLING!" That kind of thing.). Jason Schwartzmann is a cutie pie when he's all cleaned up. His scruffy look doesn't do a lot for me. He seems to take on these roles as the offbeat kinda weird dude, so I have to wonder at this point if that's how he really is. Is he just playing himself each time? I learned that lesson with Crispin Glover. He was cute and a little goofball in Back to the Future, and I thought, "Why, I'll bet he's pretty funny in real life!" Then I saw him on Letterman. He's not a goofball. He's a freakshow. His Back to the Future character was his stab at NORMAL. So, don't necessarily attribute brilliance to actors that keep choosing "idiosyncratic" characters. That may be all they've got.

After the movie, we headed back to our cars at the restaurant where we'd eaten (we rode to the theater together in one car), and thanks be to the gods that Laurie's car happened to be near mine, because (and I almost hesitate to mention this after some of my previous posts) my car wouldn't start. BLAST! Seems the cold weather we had last week killed my battery. I might berate the car over this, except that this is a pretty common occurrance with extreme weather, and batteries are just a maintenance thing - not that there was something *wrong* with the car. However, I did have to get Laurie to give me a jump to get home. Thangod I carry jumper cables in my trunk. EVERYONE should do that. All of you. Go get some. They're not expensive.

I then had to get up Saturday morning and head to Sears for a new battery. Props to Sears for really quick and friendly service incidentally! Good ole Sears. I then proceeded on to the day's scheduled events, including a trip to the Seventh Circle of Hell, that is to say Walmart. I friggin' hate Walmart. I really do. They're the worst of capitalism, and the shopping experience itself is an exercise in sanity asphyxiation. The more you push your way through the crowded aisles, weaving among the masses, your cart crashing against the ones passing you, teems of unattended children pillaging the aisles and speaking in languages I don't begin to want to identify, well, I slowly feel my patience and rationality choking out. I generally shop anywhere else I can find before stepping foot across their threshold. However...and I pause to collect myself before I admit this...sometimes they're the only ones with a particular item I want. And in the end, I'm an American, and I want what I want when I want it. So, if all other options are exhausted, to Walmart I go - Xanax in hand.

On this occasion, there was a particular timer for my holiday lights that I wanted. My co-worker had already searched for this timer, and found it only at the Seventh Circle. So, I girded myself and entered. While I was there, I grabbed a couple of Christmas gifts and a few other items - moving swiftly and purposefully as to make my trip as efficient as possible. Like some relationships, get in, get what you need, then get the hell out quick, before it takes you down.

Once home, some substantial re-working of my lights took place to get everything attached to the timer. The hideous multi-colored tube angel had to be moved into the house to free up an extension cord (tragic loss), so I could put out some more lights - the big old-fashioned, multi-colored bulb kind. I put them around the window on the front of my house. They look good, but unfortunately, I dragged them across the pavement a bit as I tried to work with them, so they're already looking a little beat up and I only just took them out of the box this year. I'm happy to report, though, that the timer is working like a charm, and my somewhat anemic display turns on and off as it should - with no effort from me whatsoever. Woo-hoo!

Saturday night I went to see The Good Humor Men. They were really funny, and I'm sure the fact that the theater had a full bar in no way colors my opinion. Only four of the seven performed at the show I saw (Pat Hazell, Wayne Cotter, Henry Cho and Jimmy Brogan), but it was enough material to feel like you got a good show. I love comedians.

Last but not least was church at my parents' church yesterday. Yeah, I said it - I had a good time at church! Every year, a jazz band from San Antonio comes and performs Christmas songs for one service during the season at their church. The band is the Jim Cullen Jazz Band and they're great! I bought one of their CDs after the service. In fact, I'm listening to the CD right now as I type this.

So, there's my weekend. Busy, busy! And the next couple of weeks look to be no less packed with things to do. But it's all good! I'm glad I have friends to socialize with and the money to fix my car when I need to and my health and all the other things I forget to be thankful about on a daily basis. Onward with this festive Christmas season!

Oh, the weather outside is frightful.

Well, it's been kinda crazy here in River City the last couple of days. We had a bit of a winter storm, and as you might imagine, here in the middle of Texas, where the best description of summer is "blast furnace," we're not exactly prepared for ice. We don't know how to drive on it, and even if we did, we're in no position to do it. We don't have all-weather tires or chains for our tires - I don't even think they sell them here. We don't have salt trucks, and we have like one sand truck for the entire city (why buy an entire fleet for the one day all year it might ice over?). Oh, and our freeways are frought with "flyovers" - these roads that are built to facilitate interchanges by soaring above the intersections below. So you don't have to sit at an intersection to get off of I-35 and onto 183, for instance. You just get into the right lane, and then you fly right over the intersection and are magically deposited into the flow of traffic for 183.



The picture doesn't really give you the scale I'm describing - high-wire act circus performers fear some of our flyovers. They're high, man. And without the ground underneath the roadway, it doesn't take much for them to ice over. It's just not a pretty sight around here when it gets icy. The official word is we had more than 800 accidents in 24 hours.

So, the best thing to do in these situations is just stay home. Heat up some chili, put on your bunny slippers and pop in a movie (because your cable or satellite dish may be iffy). What movie should one watch? Why a winter-themed movie, that's what! Get in the spirit! And which one? Why, something uplifting! Like this family favorite:

http://waxy.org/random/view.php?type=video&filename=shining_redux.mov

That trailer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm going to go rent that right now.

I need more stuff.

I've finally put up all my Christmas decorations. This is my third Christmas in my house. The first year, I didn't put up any decorations because I was just moving in. I needed to get my bed put together, hang sheets over the windows that didn't have blinds or curtains yet, and buy lamps.

The second year, last year, I got rolling. I hung icicle lights along the front of the house and put some lights in the little dwarf tree in my front yard. I have this crappy little multi-colored angel tube-light thing I bought years ago that I put out. And I put lights on my armoire in my living room (the armoire holds my tv, and is thus, always open). I even bought my first tree - a pre-lit fake one that I expect to have a long time. It was great!

So, why, this year, when I pulled it all out and put it all up, did it look so sad and sparse? It looked like I thought about decorating, but then lost interest. I kept looking around, like there must be another box of stuff somewhere that I could put out. I need garland. And lighted yard stuff. Not the blow-up Santas and snowmen - you wake up every morning to find them crumpled on the lawn. I mean the lighted reindeer or Christmas gift thingees. I need some of those. And a fireplace with a mantle - I need one of those.

And yet, if I buy more now, it'll eat at me to see it all on 70% off clearance in 3 weeks. I'll mentally add up how much extra I paid by having to have it all NOW (and you don't want me doing math in my head - trust me on that), and then I won't really love it the same way. It'll be a constant reminder of my momentary impatience and fiscal irresponsbility. Do I really want the innocent reindeer, once so coveted, to become instruments of self-loathing?? I can't live like that!!! I'm already going to have to pay full-price for a wreath hanger. I got a wreath last year on clearance, but I couldn't find any hangers. I hear those are pretty cheap, though, so I'll move on that. But all the other stuff...must...wait...until...clearance.

I smell roses.

Hook 'em Horns!!!! Colorado can't say I didn't warn them. I told you that the Big 12 Championship game wouldn't be a repeat of the Texas v. a&m game. But sheeeeeesh - 70-3? That's a basketball score, man...if one team doesn't show up. And we took out Vince Young early in the 3rd, so we weren't even using our big guns most of the second half!

I gotta tell you, I don't think anything else could've gone wrong for Colorado. That had to be the longest, most miserable afternoon of their lives. I know, because I, as a Texas fan, have been there. We're riding high right now, but we've been in those "Dear God, please just let this end" games before. Two leap to mind. One is the 1991 Cotton Bowl, when Miami beat us like red-headed stepchildren, 46-3, in cold, relentless rain. We thought that was bad. But the 1997 66-3 loss to UCLA, that was just...surreal. I was at that game, and I've never seen things go so completely and ceaselessly to crap for a team. Until this weekend.

Well, onto the Rose Bowl, people! National championship game!!! I'm so proud of our guys for the incredible season they've had! Here's hoping there's one more win on the schedule for them on Jan. 4. HOOK 'EM!!!!

(And BIG congrats to my friends Tony and Laurie! I love you guys and couldn't be happier for you both!!)