Happy New Year!

May you ring in 2009, and spend it, with someone you love. :)

How about just eating less and exercising?

Everywhere I turn online lately, I see ads for "Oprah's Acai Berry Diet!"

I don't know what an acai berry is, but in case the marketers for this wonder fruit hadn't heard, Oprah recently announced that she now weighs in at 200 pounds. If I were looking for a diet, I probably wouldn't choose the one Oprah is on.

(Note: I went to search for a photo of the ads I've been seeing to include it on here, and somehow I stumbled on an ad/blog promoting colon cleansing. It included a photo of what "might be in your colon" if you're not cleansing. It was so disgusting I had to stop searching for photos, lest I accidentally land on another such image. What's wrong with people?)

Happy Holidays, punks.

So, J and I made an unpleasant discovery yesterday. The wind was blowing pretty badly, and we thought we heard some stuff flying around outside. He looked out the window and saw that two of the slats in my gate had broken off at the top. Sheeeeeesh, we thought! That's *some* wind!

I then went outside and discovered that one of the posts on my fence had also broken, and the fence was swaying in the wind. That fence cost me $1800 six years ago and has been absolute crap. My father has had to shore it up every year in one place or another with long bolts, and the stretch that was swaying yesterday is one of the last sections that my dad hasn't had to secure, so I wasn't surprised.

As I'm looking at the fence, though, I spot something on ground near the gate. It was the solar screen from the window by the gate. It was on the ground and twisted on one side, and the two pieces of broken-off slat from the gate were under it. "Good grief!" I'm thinking. "What's going on out here?" But my immediate concern is the fence since the whole thing is just swaying now, like it's going to come down.

I go in and tell J, and he grabs his tools, and we go out and secure the fence, at least temporarily. We also bring the screen in to look at it. It's fixable, so he bends it back and replaces it. But the more we think about it, somethin' ain't right.

We look at the gate. The broken pieces were inside the fence, but you know what? They broke off the other way. And the gate is pulled out by an inch or more at the bottom. We look closer at the screen. There's a thumb mark. Shit. This wasn't wind damage - someone tried to break in.

J called the cops, and a really cool deputy came out. He verified that it was an attempted break-in - he pointed out some other evidence that we hadn't noticed, and he said that there had been a rash of break-ins in the cul-de-sac around the corner. He said he had some suspects, but the other people hit wouldn't press charges, including one lady who had been hit multiple times. I know this lady - she doesn't speak English, and to be honest, I'm surprised she even called the cops. J told him that we'd press charges if they caught anyone, though. Here's the best part about the damage to my gate: the gate on the other side was unlocked. Idiots. Criminals and idiots - great combination.

So, we'll be stepping up our safety precautions around the casa. We're not sure what scared the punks away from actually breaking into the house after they'd already damaged it and started their attempt to break in, but whatever it was, hopefully it's permanent and they won't try here again. We'll keeping a vigilant eye out, though, and we'll be making sure the new house has an alarm system installed before we move in there. Too bad that bad people force us to live in wired fortresses, isn't it?

Christmas cards

If I've blogged before about this, I apologize (I'm far too lazy to actually go look and see if I have). On second thought, I don't apologize, because the fact that I need to blog about it again means I must not have gotten through to everyone the first time, so really, it's your own fault that I'm blogging about it again. If I've already blogged about it.

I'm talking about Christmas cards. I send Christmas cards every year, and I enjoy getting them. I love the letter kind where people tell you about their year, and I also really like the kind with photos. (Though I'll admit right now, I've been bad about not sending either of those kind in the past myself.) Christmas cards are one of those "touching base" kinda things where you can stay in touch with people you don't keep up with otherwise - not even on a blog or Facebook. It's a "Hello! I still remember you exist!" and "This is what I look like now!"

Except that I've found that for most people, it's *not* a "This is what I look like now!" It's a "This is what my kids look like now!" Here's the thing about that. Unless I have a relationship with your kids, I'm way more interested in how YOU look. YOU are the one I know, not your kids. I know your kids exist, and a *family* picture showing you and your kids is interesting - I like to see if I can spot resemblances and it helps me remember your kids aren't toddlers anymore. But if the only photo you send is of your kid, I gotta tell you, I'm disappointed. When I see that photo, all I'm really wondering is what YOU look like - you...my friend...the person I know.

So, I'll make you a deal. Next year, I will try to send a card with a photo that has ME in it, and you send a card with a photo that has YOU in it. I may even get crazy and try to write a letter to go with mine. But that's not part of the deal - that's just a thought I'm having now, with 364 days to go until next Christmas. The deal just includes the photo. And yes, the photo must be recent.

Merry Christmas, everbuddy!

I won't be posting for a couple of days, so I'll leave you with another video clip from a classic Christmas movie (my definition of "classic" may be different from yours): Christmas Vacation.

Enjoy, and have a great Christmas, everyone!

That's what I get for exercising.

Interesting weekend, weather-wise around here. We hit 80 on Saturday, followed by a high in the 40s on Sunday! Craaaaazy. Luckily, we had warning that this is how it would be, so Saturday, J and I decided to get in a bike ride down by the lake before the cold hit.

We biked down the Town Lake trail, checked out the cool pics that are now part of the bridge along 1st Street (FINE - call it Cesar Chavez if you will, but when it was 1st Street, people knew where it was), headed back to the East side where we had parked, then decided to ride past our new house. That's where it all went wrong.

There are rail tracks around that area, and I had ended up kind of among them. I knew that I should get clear of them, but was watching for a spot where there wasn't a gap between the rail and the pavement - minimize the chance of catching my tire in the tracks. J, apparently, had the same concerns. I heard him say something to me and thought he was telling me to turn onto the street we were passing. So, I turned abruptly...right into a groove between the rail and pavement.

My wheel caught, stopping my bike while my body continued forward. I managed to jump clear of the bike as it went down, stumbled forward for what seemed like about 50 steps, then just as I thought I might have my feet under me, my torso pitched forward, and I had no choice but to put my hand down to catch myself. Few things feel as awesome as skin on pavement. If you'd like to check it out yourself, some of mine is still there, down around 3rd Street and Pedernales.

I ended up scraping the crap out of the lower part of my palm and jamming my middle finger on my left hand. It could've been far worse, but that's been enough to cause some discomfort the last couple of days. I think we're all relieved to know that even with my hand all banged up, I can still play my bass, though. We had rehearsal yesterday. The show must go on, you know. :) Oh, and for the record, J wasn't telling me to turn. He was telling me I shouldn't be riding in the rail tracks. Irony, right? (Yes, Alanis Morrisette - that's what irony is. Not rain on your wedding day.)

Anyway, this was on top of banging my head into a cabinet door when I sneezed the other day, so I think I may have some sort of self-destructive streak in my subconscous that I'm unaware of. Or possibly someone has voodoo-dolled me. I find that uncharitable, especially at Christmastime. Santa's gonna be leavin' someone some coal.

Almost forgot...

It's Friday! I'm so busy rambling on about my NEW HOUSE, I forgot that it's video Friday. In honor of next week's festivities, here's a little sumpin from one of my favorite holiday movies. Let's get excited, people!!

Santa's bringin' me a house for Christmas.

So, as if I didn't have enough going on this holiday season, I've completely lost my mind and decided to buy a house. Yes, I already have a house. No, I'm not selling the one I already have. No, I'm not kidding. Let me explain.

Last May, I put my house on the market, with the intention of buying a house closer in to town. I love my current house, but it's kind of in the middle of nowhere and it's not turning out to be the investment I had expected it to be when I bought it six years ago. At the time, it seemed like a good gamble. It was in the only area of town that really had any room for growth, and there was a brand new tollway coming in only a couple of miles away, and it was a fantastic house for the price. I figured I'd have it about two years, and then I could sell it for a profit and move up/in.

The problem is, they kept building more new houses (meaning I was competing against brand new houses with builder incentives), but they didn't build any of the infrastructure I expected - more roads in and out, a grocery store, etc. There's been a *little* of that - a traffic light installed, the road widened by the elementary school around the corner - but overall, it's the same remote kind of setup it was when I bought. So, the value hasn't increased. In fact the appraisal is less than I paid. Not cool.

So, I decided to sell and see if I could at least break even and try again in a more optimistic location. And then the market crashed. Before I even got an offer, I was competing against foreclosures. After 5 months on the market, I never got an offer. So, I took it off.

But all this time, I was watching the listings in the area I wanted to move to. I figured I'd try again in the spring. Until a week ago. I had seen a house worth watching get listed the week before. I added it to my stack. Then last week it suddenly dropped in price. Like a lot. Like...I could buy the place and still keep the one I'm in. Hmmm...

The next day we're looking at the outside and calling Realtors. The next day we're in it, looking around. The next I'm making an offer. The next the offer is accepted. The next we're calling inspectors, insurance people, filling out mountains of paperwork. Bottom line, here we are a week later, with every indication that I will very soon have a new house, 8 minutes from my job, and be looking for someone to rent my other house until the market comes back enough for me to sell without losing my shirt. CRAZY!!!

Luckily, I have several friends who are doing exactly what I'm about to do, so I have lots of people to lean on for advice about renting out my house and renovation, etc. And as fast as it's all going, it also feels like it's all been going on since May, so it doesn't really feel as fast as it sounds. It's just a little different from how I first expected it to play out. But I'm excited, and I really think it's going to all work out very well!

So, wish me luck that all the t's get crossed and the i's get dotted and I will soon have lots of DIY posts to bore you with!

I do not trust the calm.

Have you ever been in such a whirlwind of activity that when it finally backs off, even if just for a day, you feel a little lost - like you should be working on something frantically (as you have been for days), but you're not sure what? Yeah. Me too.

The last week has been absolutely crazy for me. Holiday stuff, and some medical stuff, and a big project, and an unusually busy workload - I've just barely made it through each day, checking and re-checking to make sure nothing important slipped through the cracks. And then today, I get to the office, start looking around me, and nothing is on fire. I have some stuff to do, but it's actually manageable. And while today will be long - a social engagement right after work means I won't get home until late in the evening - it doesn't look like it's going to be as overwhelming as the last week has been. The pace is actually something approaching normal, as opposed to a tornado inside a hurricane, like every other day for the past week.

I can't be sure that it won't all start back up again before the day is over or by tomorrow. But at least there's been this morning. I think I'll double-check my daytimer again, just to make sure I haven't forgotten something vital...

Why you gotta make me go "grrrr"?

So, I was all determined to write a happy post today. I had a good weekend. I got to spend time with my favorite boyfriend, got to sleep in, got to have dinner with my friend Sheila at a great little SoCo restaurant I'd never been to before. I did my nails. I finished my Christmas decorating. It's all good, right?

Then I went out to lunch to do some Christmas shopping, and right in front of me at a red light, the guy in the car ahead of me opens his driver's side door and empties his entire nasty-ass car ashtray in the street! Just dumped his trash all over the road! Boy, that ticked me off.

The street is not a Dumpster. If you want to live in a nice place, you have to treat where you live nicely. You can give some people the nicest car on the lot, and they will have it banged up and smelling bad before it's off the lot. You could give them a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and they will park on the lawn (I know because I used to see it all the time in my neighborhood when it was BRAND NEW). You could give them a beautiful, clean city, and they will spraypaint graffiti all the over the walls and break bottles and throw their cigarette butts in the street. And then you know what they'll do? Complain because the place is a dirty and run-down - it's somehow the world's fault instead of their own that they're vomitting in their own bed (and I chose the nicer term there, just FYI).

I hate litter. I hate graffiti. I hate destruction for the sake of it. This is a beautiful city. And it's a privilege to live here. If you want to throw garbage on the ground/floor/street, do it inside your own house, and admit that you don't think you deserve anything better. But don't ruin the beautiful atmosphere here for the rest of us, who actually appreciate our lovely city and make an effort to preserve its beauty. Like our lungs, we like our streets clean.

Grrrr! (This is not to be confused with Mike Straka's GRRR! column on FoxNews.com. But "Grumble." didn't have the same impact.)

Naughty Christmas Video Friday!

I put "naughty" in the title so no one would be confused or say they weren't warned. Let me reiterate, this video is not for kids. It's not porn - it aired on broadcast television, but it aired on SNL, at night, after the kiddos would be in bed, so it's grown-up hilarity. So, if that's something that bothers you, don't push play on the video. Have we all been warned? We're not going to send chastising, blame-filled comments about how I ruined anyone's day, weekend or Christmas season? Good. Then, let's get to it.

I'll call this one an oldie but a goodie, though it's only a couple of years old. I think it's one of the first things that Justin Timberlake did for SNL showing what a great sense of humor he has. It's a spoof of his old boy-band 90s music days, and it's all about a "special" kinda Christmas present.

So, as you finish up your Christmas shopping and plan for the big day coming up in a week and a half, just remember to beware if your man doesn't have to use his hands to carry his gift to you. And unwrap it carefully.

Valkyrie

Tom Cruise has a new movie out. It's called Valkyrie, and it's based on a true story - about an attempted assassination of Hitler during World War II.

I'm kind of a WWII buff, so I know the story, and it's a good one. So, I'd like to see a movie about it. The only problem is that I don't really like Tom Cruise, and the trailer I saw the other day made me purse my lips. It showed Tom and some compatriots discussing the plan for the assassination attempt, and someone says they need someone to carry it out, and Tom's character says, "I'll do it" in a very resolute tone.

I told J that the thing that bugs me is that I think Tom actually sees himself as that guy. I think he actually believes that he could single-handedly save the world, if necessary, and that he would, in fact, step up resolutely to plant the bomb to take out the tyrant. I think he thinks of himself as a bit of a superhero. And that makes it hard for me to watch him. He's a great actor, but when I think he's kind of just playing himself, or rather how he sees himself, well...it makes my lips purse.

Brad Pitt doesn't really do anything for me, and I tend to think he takes himself a little too seriously, but then he shows a sense of humor about his roles, like in "Burn After Reading" or even with "Ocean's Eleven" and I like him better. And I can't stand Sean Penn on a personal level, but he's an amazing actor who takes on a wide variety of roles that aren't just a reflection of who he thinks he is, so I can lose myself in his performance. I can forget that I loathe him in real life and just go for the ride because his characters are diverse and interesting and he's so great.

But lately Tom just kind of plays the same guy all the time - the hero. Or maybe it just feels that way. And since I kinda think that's who he thinks he is, and I don't, well...I just can't enjoy it as much. And that sucks since I'd really like to see a well-done adaptation of the Valkyrie story.

To speaker or not to speaker. There is no question.

So, I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office today when I heard a phone ring loudly. It's a large waiting room, serving several doctors, and there were quite a few people waiting, and I was all the way at the end away from the reception desk, so I was pretty sure it wasn't the switchboard phone I was hearing. But whoever's phone it is, they weren't answering. After an eternity, one of the other patients finally answers - it was his cell phone.

The call was from Sprint. It was a courtesy call to see if the phone owner needed anything. I know this because the patient answered the phone IN SPEAKER MODE. Yes - like a Nextel, more popularly known as The Most Annoying Phone Ever.

Not to all speakerphone users: none of the rest of us want to hear your conversation. We really don't. It's not only boring, it's annoying. And with the thing on speaker, you're yelling. I promise you, you're talking louder than you would if you were holding the phone to your ear/mouth.

Now, I'm all about cell phones. I'm not one of those people who wrings my hands and spouts off about how I wish I didn't have to have one, but I need it for safety purposes or work purposes or some other excuse. I love my cell phone. I feel naked if I leave home with out it accidentally. Nextel walkie-talkie style communication, however, is an abomination. It's audal rape. I'm forced against my will to listen to your conversation - both sides.

So, here's the rule: If you're in the privacy of your car or some other non-public space, talk on speaker to your heart's content. But if you're in public, either answer your phone in private mode, where you can keep your voice down and those around you don't have to listen to the Sprint guy asking you if there's anything you need or your wife giving you a grocery list or your co-worker asking how the thingamajig fits the whosits joint on the gefeltefish machine, then just send the call to voice mail and return it later when you're not in a waiting room, restaurant, movie theater, bus or place where people around you can't just walk away while you yell into the receiver. Trust me - people will like you better.

Do you haiku?

A haiku for my experiences today at Thundercloud and 7-Eleven:

Behind the counter
Just make my sandwich or change
Transaction, not date

BCS: Big Crock of Sh....

I heard someone ask a good question this weekend. They wanted to know when they "C" was added to BCS.

Someone also suggested that the Big 12 Championship game this year should have been called the "Teams Texas Has Already Beaten Bowl."

What a complete load of stinking, steaming garbage the standings are. And Bob Stoops needs to just shut the f up and go play his unearned national championship berth (let me rephrase that - he should just shut up and go get his ass handed to him by Florida), because every time he tries to justify why Oklahoma is there instead of Texas, it just sounds even more ridiculous than the last time he tried to justify it and makes me hate him even more. I know - who knew that was even possible?

When the season is said and done, everyone is going to be standing there saying that Oklahoma never should've been in that game. Mark my words. What's going to happen on the field is going to prove that Texas is the better team (as we already proved on the field in Dallas in October) and that the BCS got it wrong. AGAIN.

Get a damn clue, college football. The BCS doesn't work. Too many teams have been screwed by it, and no one believes in it anymore. Who are we kidding - no one has EVER believed in it! Get a playoff system in place, and let's do this right.

As far as the other bowl games that got scheduled, I'm not thrilled with some of the matchups. Some look good, but games I would've liked to have seen:

BYU vs. Texas Tech
Texas vs. Alabama
Penn State vs. Utah

Birthday wishes...

to my friend Laurie! Laurie is one of those special people that you cannot know and not love. That's alotta nots. Let's say it simpler: To know Laurie is to love her. It's just a fact!

So, here's to one more year of fabulousness Laurie! I hope that this year is filled with all the happiness you can stand, and I look forward to celebrating your existence tomorrow night! :)

Another TV post

This one will be much shorter than yesterday's. I just want to know if anyone else out there is loving Fringe as much as J and I are?

That show is great! I love the guy who used to play Pacey on Dawson's Creek (Joshua Jackson), but I think the guy who really makes the show is Walter, the mad scientist. The actor who plays Walter (John Noble) is fantastic! He's really created a great character - or should I say that the writers created a great character and Noble has brought him to life. I gotta figure that the process takes both parts for the character to really work - good writing and a good delivery.

In any case, Walter is awesome. You never know what's going to come out of his mouth, and you find yourself hanging on every word just in case a gem pops out. His random comments are hilarious and it cracks me up how he just can't seem to learn his assistant's name (Astrid), so he just calls her "Miss" now. I particularly liked the episode where he kept calling her Astro. But that's the Jetsons lover in me. And Peter's reactions to Walter's ramblings are always perfect.

And all of that is separate from the really cool storylines. I'm not even a big sci-fi lover, and I love this show. So, if you haven't checked it out, you should! Do yourself a favor, though, and catch up on previous episodes via the web. The whole season is online, and you'll enjoy the show more if you know the backstory.

So check it out!

The Frats are in the finals??? WHAT???

Well, I really can't believe how this week's Amazing Race turned out. It's just unbelievable that the Frats can still be in this thing. They have to be one of the worst teams to ever run this thing, and I'm just staggered they've survived. But let's talk about how they pulled it off this week.

Cab it to a Russian submarine. As always, teams are at the mercy of their cabbies, and all but one team ended up on the submarine at the same time. Considering the size of a submarine, it's a little suprising they all ended up in the same room getting their clues at pretty much the same time, but so goes it.

Cab it to the Graveyard of Fallen Monuments for a Roadblock. What a weird place, huh? I mean, what's the deal? If some monument gets replaced, the old one goes to this park? Are they afraid if they destroy a likeness of Lenin or Stalin, the old psychos will return to haunt them? How about if they just called it Graveyard of Monuments to Tyrants? In any case, J and I agreed that I'd have rocked at this Roadblock. I know what Lenin and Stalin look like and I have an eye for detail, so I think I would've gotten through this quickly.

During this Roadblock is where Toni and Dallas made their fatal mistake. Dallas held all the passports and money for his team, which he managed to leave in a cab. This happened not because Dallas is a moron, because anyone could be moving fast and focused on the task and leave something behind. This happened because Toni and Dallas broke an absolute tenet of traveling in a foreign country. Keep your passport and your money ON YOU. And with the money, DIVIDE IT UP.

Don't let anyone carry your passport for you, and don't carry it in a bag or anywhere it could fall out or get left somewhere. Keep it on your person. And with money, never have one person holding it all, and never have your entire stash in one spot. Put some in your pocket, some in your shoe, some wherever you've stashed your passport. If you've got a safe at your hotel, put some of it in there. If you have a bag and you want your money in it for easy access, then fine, but only put a portion of it in there for precisely the reason of what happened to Dallas. If you have all of your valuables in one spot, it could be breached or lost and you're screwed. So like your investments, spread it around.

I'm pretty sure it was this error that cost Toni and Dallas the game, though I suppose if they hadn't made the error of taking the metro to the Shetland pony lady (see below), they probably could've passed Dan and Andrew and finished ahead of them. But I also think the time they spent begging for money to get the places they needed to go cost them too much time. Though I must comment on how amazingly generous all the people in Russia were. I maintain it's the cameras - people know it's a TV show and that the players aren't just some cons or vagrants, so they're more willing to give up some cash to the cause. Plus they want to look good on camera. They're afraid they'll look like jerks saying no. In any case, though, T&D seemed to have little trouble getting money from strangers. But just having to take the time to ask cost them.

An observation about the book shop part of this task. When Tina guessed the right number and then told Dallas the answer and proceeded to tell him he owed her, then bragged to Toni about giving him the answer, did anyone feel like they were back at the airport in the early part of the season when she bragged to everyone that she'd gotten the airline to give them a bigger plane? That woman is SO annoying! She can't do anything without needing credit, and then she had the balls to complain that Ken never says anything supportive when he's constantly building her up, and I have yet to hear her acknowledge any of the good things he does. She never cheers him on or tells him he did a great job or anything. It's just pretty much a constant stream of nagging.

Travel to park and find lady with Shetland pony. Starr didn't know a Shetland pony was a real horse. She thought it might be a ponytail. Seriously, Starr? This is where the Frats had to do their extra task. It involved dancing. I'm suprised Andrew didn't kill himself trying to dance considering his marching performance.

Detour: Ride the Lines or Ride the Rails. I think I would've picked Ride the Rails, because I do love-a the subway, though I admit I'd have been intimidated by the Cyrillic writing everywhere. It would have been easy to make a mistake. And there's a fair chance I would've eaten the samsa, so I hope the clue was clear that you had to give it to the lady at the end to get your next clue.

Travel from DKNY Park, I mean VNDKh Park, to the Pit Stop. Nick and Starr easily cruise to the Pit Stop first and win yet another trip. I think these two are definitely the favorites to win the whole thing. The Frats came in *second* (staggering, I tell you) because Ken and Tina couldn't find the cluebox (I'm sure it was all Ken's fault, right Tina?). J and I hoped that Dallas and Toni might get there before they found it because while we like Ken, we can't stand Tina, but no such luck. They were just too handicapped without their money and passports.

They had a pretty amazing experience, though, and won and extra trip along the way, so it's all good. It's not a million dollars, but it was a pretty great ride for them, no?