Lesson for the day: be female.

The following story appeared in USA Today today (is that redundant?):

Man dies during cupcake-eating contest

A British man choked to death Friday during a cupcake-eating contest at a pub in Wales.

BBC News says Adam Deeley, 34, was competing with his friends to see who could eat more of the "fairy cakes" that were left over from a party at the Monkey Cafe and Bar in Swansea.

"It is thought Mr Deeley had around five of the cakes lodged in his throat," the South Wales Evening Post says. "Colleagues trained in first aid and an off-duty lifeguard rushed to help him. Paramedics arrived moments later. But they couldn't open his airway."

The coroner plans an inquest, but police don't suspect foul play, The Guardian reports. "It was a tragic accident and very sad and should serve as a cautionary tale," the nightclub's owners say in a statement to BBC News.

I'd like to think that I'd recognize I'm choking long before the fifth cupcake became wedged. I'm guessing when the FIRST cupcake became lodged in my windpipe, I'd probably pause. "Hmmmm. I can't breathe. Maybe I shouldn't shove *more* cake down my throat."

And then there's the question of why even the paramedics couldn't open this guy's airway. What the hell were these "fairy cakes" made of? Surgical glue and slime - it sticks to everything but you can't get a grip on it? Did anyone try the Heimlich?

The police say it should serve as a "cautionary tale." Right - like, "Don't be an idiot." You'll notice that when you read these stories, it's never a woman who has died in some pub trying to cram more cake in her face than everyone else and not stopping when she's ceased being able to breathe.