Rules for Living #2

It's been a while since I posted any new rules for living, but this weekend I came up with a new one. The rule is:

When you have a kettle boiling on the stove, do not attempt to clean the parts of the stove not being used.

Why, you ask? I mean, if the rest of the stovetop is cool and not in use, surely you can just do a little wipe-down, right? Well, you can, but there's a really good chance that you'll get so wrapped up in the cleaning, that when you spot a splatter of food up on the backsplash, directly above the kettle, which is now pouring a column of steam out of its spout (but not screaming at you since you removed that part of the kettle - wouldn't want to be annoyed by a bleating warning that red-hot steam is shooting forth), you'll just reach right up there to wipe it.

And you'll be sorry you did.

Where's the Lysol?

This goes in the category of "What the hell is wrong with some people?" or, alternatively, "Why I don't have children."

There's another business in the building where I work that shares the same bathrooms that my office uses. This other business is very small - just three people: a man (the boss) and two female employees. They're usually dressed nicely and look far more professional than my own office, but I don't really know what they do. I can assure you what the two women had to do today, though, was NOT in their job descriptions or mentioned in any interivew.

The boss brought his 5-year-old daughter to the office. She is, apparently, quite the little terror, and thus, should never be brought to the office. If that's not a general rule for all children in an office environment, then it should be a specific one to this child. Here's why.

One of my co-workers went to the restroom. She heard the little darling in the stall next to her. When Darling left the stall, she was giggling. She ran to the door, turned the light out on my co-worker and left the restroom. Co-worker finished her business and turned on the light and then, based on instinct, looked in the stall where Darling had been. It was...disgusting. Darling had taken her solid waste (I'm being gentle) and smeared it all over the place. With her hand. Thus the giggling, because we all know how *hilarious* feces is!

Co-worker went to the other business to inform them of the state of the bathroom and make sure they knew they must clean it up, whereupon she learned that Darling had done the same thing ALL OVER THEIR OFFICE. Boss Man wasn't there, so the two women had to clean it all up themselves.

Foul. Fooooooouuul. People, I can barely stand to clean my own bathroom, and there, anything nasty is actually where it's supposed to be. It's not surrounding me like some kind of excrement hall of horrors. That's a day at work you'll never forget.

I think we can all assume Darling is starved for attention and "acting out." But whatever they're paying those two women - it's not enough.

In my email...

A job listing came for me today: "Math Teacher/Instructor/Curriculum Developer."

Me - a math teacher.

Nobody wants that.